carnation cravings.

carnation cravings.

A Poem by jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
"

for Devons' Picture This group

"
razor blade hips
dangerously tinged lips
and a shirt cut way down to
there

she captures you
enraptures you
hits you with her james bond
stare

she'll drain you
inflame you
a deer in headlights, lost in the
glare


panic, little rabbit, 
there's no time to run
you're already caught in her
snare

© 2010 jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)


Author's Note

jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
i know! i rhymed! i'd say be kind, but really, hit me with what you've got. i want to know what you think

My Review

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Featured Review

I like this one a lot...the rhyme is nice, and I love how the ending words stick out from the rest.

"razor blade hips
dangerously tinged lips
and a shirt cut way down to
there"

I love that part....genius. I love the razor blade hips line, and if you say lips in a poem or song, I swoon. Very nice piece.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love the rhythm of the lines. The words are raw and aggressive. It pumps me up! Very cool!

Posted 13 Years Ago


I love this poem. It is so lyrical thats its just not funny.
This would make a great song. Definitely a hit!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This was strong..almost aggressive, I think the rhyme flowed well and seemed subtle and well placed. The first stanza really set up the mood and tone of the piece. Excellent job, dear. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think (bond girl stare) would be more apropos. but maybe that is just because I am
a guy. And If I got a James bond stare from someone I would probably punch 'um.
The way u have formated this I like or I could say your use of white space greatly
enhances the verve of the poem and gives it a flare it would not otherwise have.


Posted 13 Years Ago


Love the way you put the ink to paper - rhyme or no.

Posted 13 Years Ago


james bond stare... few women possess that... few men as well for that matter! very strong write!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

BRAVO on not only the rhymes, but the story you told inside your exquisite poetry, and o so true, how many times i have been held in that special womans light

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A rockin' good poem~ i especially like the James Bond line~ Nicely donE!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hmmm. pleasantly devious. nice rhyme scheme. sexy and dangerous.
yep....I think this kicks a*s.
cheers!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this one a lot...the rhyme is nice, and I love how the ending words stick out from the rest.

"razor blade hips
dangerously tinged lips
and a shirt cut way down to
there"

I love that part....genius. I love the razor blade hips line, and if you say lips in a poem or song, I swoon. Very nice piece.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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15 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 13, 2010
Last Updated on November 13, 2010

Author

jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)
jenniewren (J.W. Bouwman)

Vancouver, BC, Canada



About
Playful and eager to explore new styles of writing, and to hone my skills. i'm reaching a point now where i can write a poem and be able to say that it is something i really like. I'm an avid reader, .. more..

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