closet doors.

when i was a little girl

monsters lived inside the walls

and the closet was a place i knew 

held myriads of unknown dangers in the night

after all, didn't i have my very own closet?

it's where i put all the things 

i didn't want to know

and all the darkest aspects of people

they didn't know i knew

why shouldn't my bedroom closet

hold as many twisty turns

as the one i carried with me

every single day?

i was the smiley wrengirl

blonde and sunny

tough and tiny

irrepressible, stubborn

no one knew all my secrets

least of all me

because unlike my bedroom closet

with its flimsy bi-fold slats

my older brother had already kicked in twice...

i knew how to build a door

Reviews

[Devons]

This is quite an original, psychological poem that makes a very incisive point about a concept which is well known the world over in its various forms: the childhood fear of the closet, the wardrobe, the attic.. the fear of the unknown, the imagination, the darkness, the unseen, and the fear of even fear itself. And every day we deal with or face these fears in our minds. And -as the poem inquires- perhaps this fear of the closet is representative of the fears that we harbour within ourselves...
"why shouldn't my bedroom closet
hold as many twisty turns
as the one i carried with me
every single day?"
Like "Toys in the attic"... Which reminds me of Pink Floyd's epic metaphor "The Wall", except this concept is perhaps a little darker here in these verses (although made more human and palatable by some fraternal references eg. "the smiley wrengirl").. Darker in the sense that the "door" (equivalent of "the wall") is a mental mechanism which hides fears rather than realities about oneself. They are linked of course, but the concept is individual. The fact that the "older brother had already kicked in (the door) twice.." reflects a kind of analogous action which reverberates and echoes symbolically the power of those fears in the effect the closet has had on him...
"I knew how to build a door"... is a conclusively insidious way to show how we can control our fears by maintaining a 'mental door', but ultimately there are extraneous 'doors' we cannot control... And sometimes, perhaps, for those less fortunate, the other way around.
To coin a cliche, a thought-provoking piece of work. Told in a clear, concise, and intelligent manner which effectively manages to echo its meaning within the reader's mind. A very smart angle of approach.

[Nobody.]

wow...wonderful use of the long metaphor. made me sad, though. good write.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Sad write in this ...I feel this is about being violated by an older brother..I hope that it is just a write and not your life..I feel for you if it is your life and your past that you carry heavy in your heart...Sunflower

[paul]

wow. fantastic beginning. haunted and inspired.
the flow rolls and rollicks.
irreprisible. what a great word
and a great ending too

[Antonio Valentino]

Oh smiley wrengirl, this was so good. Too bad we're better at building doors, then opening them. I really liked this one.

i was the smiley wrengirl
blonde and sunny
tough and tiny
irrepressible, stubborn
no one knew all my secrets
least of all me

You're the best!
Antonio xx

[B0Beauxs]

You're quickly becoming one of my favourite writers on here.

I love this- I love the whole concept of a closet inside us all where we can stash away our darkest and most disturbing secrets.

You write well, and I like that this poem has so many dimensions. The end is very powerful; I know this poem will be going round my head for the next few weeks.

Very nice, incredibly profound piece.

[JC]

youre so damn strong...i sense immensely your thoughts and feelings because you write so well, you skip through time exploring and relating the facts and what youve learned, you have hindsight like a gambler and awareness like a zen monk...i also sense an awakening within yourself, maybe a jen dragon breathing fire and demanding to be set free..

[FlawedByDesign]

A very original write. People will often rite about the "closet monsters" coming alive, but you've done a very intelligent thing here, by going in the other direction and showing us the ability to suppress the monsters in the closet; which we all carry on our backs.
"because unlike my bedroom closet
with its flimsy bi-fold slats
my older brother had already kicked in twice...
i knew how to build a door" - is wonderful and character building, because it takes a strong person to build the door so the things in the closet don't rear their ugly head. Very nice metaphor.

Very well done :)

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Oh! I like how this is a very straight to the point and how you play with the oft used metaphor of 'closet'..but you do it in your eloquent style which is beyond any comparison...
I read this poem about two days back and it kept on tossing and turning in my head ..just then i knew i won't be at ease until i came here and read this again.I love this poem more from third stanza onwards.To say that the closet that lies within us all has more twisty turns than the material representation is to voice something which every one feels but can not give words to,as elegantly as you do..
I adore how you have put in yourself here by saying..
i was the smiley wrengirl
blonde and sunny
tough and tiny
irrepressible, stubborn
no one knew all my secrets
least of all me..
By putting yourself here you are letting us have a glimpse of your soul and that lets us connect with you more...
I will tell you this,that so often i have thought of building a door,we all do..over years.In fact we don't even realize how our defense mechanisms leap up in shape and form burgeoning within us,when we are sleeping or when we are shedding tears,mumbling to ourselves..they just come up,get built.When we realize,it is when we want to go out of our way and express ourselves yet something in us pulls us back and an inner voice tells us to stop and not to let anyone into our 'closet'...
Oh before i get carried away,yes i have tried to build a door but so oft have i failed...
Very poignant...

[Robin]

Thank you for allowing us into your room ,