resiliency.

i haven't been broken yet

even though many seem

to enjoy the attempt

much like smashing boulders

into fresh ice, just to hear the shatter

Reviews

[C.T. Bailey]

Here is an example of a true poet's mind...so perfect a selection of vernacular as to accomodate volume's of truth...yet delicately presented in an economy of words. Five lines to encourage; five lines to inspire; five lines to belie the spirit - this you accomplish. Superlative.

[Robin]

I like throwing pine cones into the fire , am I bad ?

[Scott Kelly]

I enjoy the simplicity, and I do believe in economy in writing. I am a minimalist myself, though obviously that has a different meaning in a novel. People ask why poetry is difficult - it's because you have to choose the perfect words when you have so few to choose from. You've done well here, I get a strong image of "defiance" from this, even moreso than resiliency, because, well - a resilient person would take their punishment silently, while a defiant one cries out.

The only thing that didn't connect with me was the word "Boulder."

When I picture people purposefully destroying the natural beauty that ice can leave across a landscape, the first thing that comes to mind is, say, kids and icicles. But that word boulder.. I just feel like the people who would try to smash you would be throwing rocks, or throwing stones, or cruelly snapping off bits with their wool-gloved hands.

To imply that they can throw boulders implies that they are giants. But because the poem isn't THAT defiant, I mean you aren't challenging your detractors, I just don't think it fits as well. It sounds more like you're bigger/tougher than your enemies, and as such you wouldn't give them the credit of being able to lift and hurl boulders - which, in my mind, defines a rock that is too big for a normal man to lift/throw.

[JC]

"aint nuthin gonna breaka my stride...aint nuthin gonna slooowwww me down...oh no (oh no) i got to keep on moooovin!" keep on truckin jennie!

[Iota]

I don't think anyone can actually break you, maybe slow you down but never break. Again the picture here is outstanding with the smashing boulders and fresh ice. Nicely created.

[Crowley]

You tell me who...I will personally kick their a*s. Unless its Ed Hart, we would settle it in a much more gentlemanly and sophisticated manner using yo momma jokes. Alright, all kidding aside, those last to lines are stark and somewhat refreshing. Non parallel but I get that was the point. Gives it a much more brittle and visible narrative description. I love this, alot. Sadly I have been on both sides of this fence...hate to admit that.

[just rose.]

this is very fresh and very zen, especially the last two lines.

[Antonio Valentino]

Sorry guys, boulders aint gonna do it, this dear poetess is made of diamonds, not ice!

Hang in there Jennie, keep turning those big rocks into sand.

Love this!
Antonio xx

[miSS LEaf]

Zeitgeist's review is exactly what i was about to say.....~ Resilience is such a perfect label for this poem....
you're getting better at short poems, Jenn :)

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

The words that follow resiliency here are simply so apt..lovely,as always.