polaroids. (a companion)

for Devons' contest..

polaroid I

overripe cherry juice

seeping outwards in concentric circles

islanded with flaky crust particles

he had watched his mother's

nimble fingers form the dough

into a lattice shaped prison

for the scarlet orbs

just the day before

he knew if he looked 

too closely 

he would see the single cherryheart

pulsing 

just like his mother's heart had beat

only yesterday

polaroid II

ragged torn cuticles

dried crescent bloodmoon trapped 

in the corner of his father's thumbnail

unsettled by the sight

he was unable to focus on anything 

but the sign of his father's undoing.. 

he wondered when his turn was next

had it only been yesterday

that his family

had been whole?

polaroid III

black typeface

starkly bellowing the single word

that would change his world forever

an entire life, 

two lives.. no.. three..

or maybe more lives 

than anyone could know

pulled to pieces with the entropic nature

of seven simple letters

was there an eraser ever made,

he wondered,

that could eradicate

the forbidden knowledge of

suicide

from a mind too young

to hold all the answers?

Reviews

[Michael X]

wow, i cant even think of the proper words that show how i feel about the bare simplicity and heartaching features that entwine polaroids, and the companion piece here. this is seriously subtle and speaks in a silent nature of

artistry is my first impression, leaves the reader begging for the whole life
script between the characters just to peer into their minds and what lead to the mother unfateful ending, what makes the second part so magnificent is the way it overshadows part one but the skill is divine. bravo, loved this. the imagery is timeless and amazingly threaded.

[Crowley]

OK...does this mean that you chickened out with the story afraid that Devon would not approve...LOL or did he threaten you within an inch of your life? Any way you went, I believe we have a winner because this was disturbing and amazing. Obviously you also got a darker vibe from that picture like I did. Your descriptions in this series are out the door...I love how I see, taste, and especially feel everything. Same subject...same awesome result just packaged in an urn rather than a casket. Great job.

[Devons]

Like being shown several cutaway details of a picture one by one before the whole being revealed at the end to engage the mind to the meaning, this poem implies snapshots of symbolic and abstract imagery to create an entirety at the conclusion. The finality of the word and concept of 'suicide' closes the whole like an album of blurred photographs which make up the journey of the character's life which ultimately led to his demise; a series of images that can only mean anything to the victim himself.
A very smart, enigmatic piece of work which although is obscure in places, is wrapped-up neatly come the end and leaves a strong impression on the reader. Then there is a poignancy by retrospect in the feeling that the imagery has evoked - which, ironically, is rather like a photograph in itself. It could be wondered that perhaps the perspective is from a young man lying in a bath contemplating his life and death through a contorted whirlpool of cryptic visions which haunt him in the shape of dark feelings and a darkened soul. Like a life flashing before the eyes in blurs, with not one real clear image than can be held, but a conglomerate shadow of gloom.
There is a very philosophical nature to this writing, too, which balances intriguingly with the somehow visceral sense of opaqueness which brings out the beginning of the poem. Very good work, and satisfyingly presented.

[Ed Hart]

it's a kind of genius, to be able to do this

[miSS LEaf]

overripe cherry juice
seeping outwards in concentric circles
islanded with flaky crust particles..

ragged torn cuticles
dried crescent bloodmoon trapped
in the corner of his father's thumbnail..

wow, Jenn, you've done it again, creating such dramatic descriptions using well thought-out words that are (somehow) calm in voice yet oh-so-very intense; i love these triplets of a theme, well done sista' ~L