habitude.

   His skin always looked so smooth, she thought, And cool. Like the pale underside of a cucumber skin. She would often stare at the vulnerable whiteness curving behind his left ear. He sat in front of her, slightly to her right, and every day she found herself trapped by this bermuda triangle of skin. She treasured her secret morsel with a dragon-like glee, knowing it was unnoticed by most eyes, including his own. Many times she wondered how its supple angles would feel against the molten pink of her tongue.

   Each day she promised this would be the day to walk the long walk to the elevators beside him. She'd smile a smile that would reveal all her days of longing to him in one heartstop of a moment. His smile would prove her victory, and she would take him home to claim her prize.

   Each day she followed him out, behind and slightly to his left.

   She then went home to prepare the Food Network recipe of the day, which she'd eat in front of a fluctuating melange of television, weekly status reports, and the occasional paperback novel. Her nights all ended with the crawl inside her personal ocean of cool white sheets. When she had dreams, they consisted only of his flesh quenching her feverish surfaces; waking up to lather, rinse, repeat the day before.

   Somehow, it was enough.

Reviews

[Alysa Salzberg]

This is a really well-written piece. I love how you play with figurative langauges. My absolute favorites are: "His skin always looked so smooth, she thought, And cool. Like the underside of a cucumber skin." I've never thought of skin this way, and it totally works. And "crawl inside her personal ocean of cool white sheets". This to me is the sign of a truly creative mind: you reveal new ways to look at the world. This piece could have had lots of cliched and worn-out similes and metaphors, but its language is original all the way through. Great job!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I have just read this chapter Jennie,and yes i do want to read the rest of it...(only if it wasn't night here)..Somehow the poetic Jennie is always there,i see it in the lines..'his flesh quenching her feverish surfaces',' Like the underside of a cucumber skin' ,vulnerable whiteness curving behind his left ear and course ' bermuda triangle of skin'...mmmm those lines are just delicious..and when i say the poetic you is always there,i mean that is what makes this chapter a highly interesting read and almost like a poem,story in itself.Also the way you end this chapter somehow it was enough,i don't know what is to follow..but even if you leave it at that very last line..it is somehow a complete,perfect write for me.

[alan peter kelly]

i know that crawl only too well...like a creep back into the uterus...warm...as though nobody can hurt me...enjoyed and...of course...i will read more...

[Kyle Insane]

Loved the geometry And symmetry

[Gandré]

I like how you describe the psychology the life within a life of any woman That makes it so brilliant. I think books need to relate to any person. The language, the variation of forms is making it interesting. We all behave like this. You said, how it is. I loved this.

[Brittany]

A perfect picture of quiet longing. This is beautifully written, candid and poetic. The character satisfied with staying in the shadows, her fantasies enough to sustain. Sometimes imagining things and how they could be, how we want them, is easier then the risk of becoming vulnerable. You have quite a gift in captivating your readers, very well done.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Okay. I feel like I need a shower on two levels. I feel dirty because I feel like while she was stalking him ... I was stalking HER. That is a testament to your ability to put your reader in the place ... in the moment.

I feel dirty on a second level ... because she's naughty. Her thoughts are carnal without being graphic, another skill that most writers do not come upon all that easily. You are obviously VERY skilled. You are right to be stepping into fiction.

[JC]

gawd damn! its late and im wiped out so i dont know what to say other than god damn this is good!

[Molafvt]

Right here you make me wonder what the Hell I'm doing trying to write "pages" for few words is beyond me. I'm impressed and although I had my doubts that I would find some fulfillment in this little diddy, I couldn't have been more stupidly off the track. I didn't have my doubts about your writing in general, but about my obsessive penchant for words, words, words, but you have shown and taught me that less is more and more can often just be plain boring. Excellent write and an even better read-(again)-the second time....! There are numerous lines which gave ME pleasure to hold in my mouth, like.....
"Many times she wondered how its supple angles would feel against the molten pink of her tongue." and, "the crawl inside her personal ocean of cool white sheets" are just two of them. Superb and miraculously fulfilling from begining to end. This is something for me to hold on too and has opened doors for my own writing. Thank you.

[Iota]

Is it ever enough indulging our minds dreaming of another were close to but never close enough too. I didn't know women dreamed of men this way during there work day :) and it is something about ears just behind the lobe that makes us wonder? This is a cool, nice smooth write of unfulfilled desires that we all imagine during our days. Excellent.