things i wish i could have said.

this is for her, and for them.

things i wish i could have said

but which she knew already

often go through my mind

i sense the strength she gave me

deep within my marrow

and know the trace of laughter

whiskey-smoked yet girlish

that i occasionally hear in mixed moments

belongs to her

she fought, i think, her whole life

for the truths she held most dear

which i know also included me

she fought, i think, her whole life

to be the person she knew she was

which i know also included her end

just as i fight, i know, every day

to be all that she wanted

which i know, for her,

was just for me to be happy

Author's Note

i lost my mother to breast cancer on Feb 18th, 2008. while i know her battle was lost, so many others' have been won, everywhere, every single day.. something she was always grateful for, and always encouraged in others she met
"fight fight against the dying of the light"

this is for her, and for them.

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

Very beautiful, however I found the last two stanzas to be too wobbly. for that reason I'd suggest chopping off the last two stanzas.

I'm not normally critical with your poetry (which is of a high calibre), although I know you're a big enough gal to take feedback ;)

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I don't know how many poems of yours jennie i have on my favorite list here!!!..i feel as if i want to treasure everything you write,they are so precious..*smile..
coming back to this poem,this is so poignant,sublime and evokes emotions which can not be spoken or written about easily...
it touched me..beyond words..

[R J Askew]

Well done, moving stuff. A great many people wld know exactly what you mean with this one.

[Another Relic]

Sorry to hear of your mothers passing jen, I'm sure she would be awful proud of what you've become. Great poem.

[Dillon Cotter]

This is beautiful yet so real. I can vision your feelings and thoughts as i read more. Its sad to lose someone you love or is close too, but being real in your writing makes you a good writer. Awesome work!

[Crowley]

Really want to cry right now, but you are right that rejoicing is much more in order for those who have beat it, and those who have passed on but left a legacy of love. This was as eloquently written and moreover, an elegant tribute to your mother. Very, very nice. Loved it.

[Antonio Valentino]

Oh Jennie, after I read your, author's note, it made me gasp, and tear, especially knowing what a terrific friend you are here at the cafe.

Bless you dear friend, this was simply beautiful, right down to the very last word.

Antonio xx (((Jennie)))

[miSS LEaf]

reading this delicate piece and your other poems for/inspired by your beloved mother, i know you were loved, immensely, and she had taught you your most precious ability: to love others............ hugsss ~L

[Emily B]

blessings won and lost, I am thankful for those every day

and poems like this that remind us

[Ecnelis]

This poem, for me, shows the near reality. My mother managed to overcome her breast cancer (they caught it early) but I spent many weeks scared about what was going to happen.

The third and fourth stanzas are fantastic. i love the repetition of the first line! Favorite lines by far aaare:

"and know the trace of laughter
whiskey-smoked yet girlish
that i occasionally hear in mixed moments
belongs to her"

whiskey-smoked yet girlish... ugh! its just great!

[just rose.]

And I lost mine to breast cancer on September 21, 1985, and this poem could have been about her too - but a long time for me to get to the maturity and perspective you've rendered beautifully here.