things i wish i could have said.

this is for her, and for them.

things i wish i could have said

but which she knew already

often go through my mind

i sense the strength she gave me

deep within my marrow

and know the trace of laughter

whiskey-smoked yet girlish

that i occasionally hear in mixed moments

belongs to her

she fought, i think, her whole life

for the truths she held most dear

which i know also included me

she fought, i think, her whole life

to be the person she knew she was

which i know also included her end

just as i fight, i know, every day

to be all that she wanted

which i know, for her,

was just for me to be happy

Author's Note

i lost my mother to breast cancer on Feb 18th, 2008. while i know her battle was lost, so many others' have been won, everywhere, every single day.. something she was always grateful for, and always encouraged in others she met
"fight fight against the dying of the light"

this is for her, and for them.

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

Very beautiful, however I found the last two stanzas to be too wobbly. for that reason I'd suggest chopping off the last two stanzas.

I'm not normally critical with your poetry (which is of a high calibre), although I know you're a big enough gal to take feedback ;)

[Marie Anzalone]

I wonder why we have such an aversion to saying these things aloud when our mothers are still with us? My mom and I talk a lot, but often, not about much of anything. It's always been like that, and I wonder- will we ever get the chance to talk about hopes, fears, feelings, aspirations? I hope you are living a rewarding and fulfilling life- and that you know she is always with you.

[Adelia Alighieri]

Wow, this is amazingly beautiful. Very touchy and perfectly crafted. May your mother rest in peace. God bless.

[Lexi Nicole]

This is beautiful, and almost brought me to tears. You have great strength, I believe your mother is very proud of you. Everything about this poem is just wonderful. It's so personal and honest, a lovely portrayal of love and admiration for your mother. She seems to have been a remarkable person. Great work. Really, really great work. :)

[Abdul Aziz]

I agree with Molafvt. This is really beautiful, and moving. This is pure. The way your words softly yet surely proceed to move your readers to tears can only be achieved by honesty. I, as a medical student, am able to understand the biology behind it, but I really cannot profess to have ever experienced the pain of losing a loved one to cancer.
This is a beautiful ode to your mother.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I used to pass writing such as this and manage to be oblivious. Now, after death has knocked at my family's door twice in two years, your words are like a sword made of salt ... thrust through my heart.

[Molafvt]

What a beautiful memoir and Ode to your Mom. These are simply lovely sentiments and literally brought me close to tears. The last stanza wraps it up with a kiss, so to speak.
"just as i fight, i know, every day
to be all that she wanted
which i know, for her,
was just for me to be happy"
I think this is really all a loving parent wants for their child. No matter how many miles I lived from my parents, they would always ask me, "are you happy Murray?"
A poignant memoirs with many loving memories. Very nicely done.

[bluessadmood]

ohh i did not want to read that..my loss was one year ago and it was like yesterday
oh that hell of a woman she was like a born foghter all her life
and she fought it all not really for herself but for her children
my God i always wonder where she got all that strength
i swear i always wonder ..i will never forget you ever
thank you for writing this

[MiidniightSoul]

This is such a beautiful poem. It really comes from the heart and is very powerful. I'm so sorry for your loss, I've also lost a family member because of cancer and I know how hard it must have been for you.
A great poem.

[Nathan HUelsbeck]

god dam beautiful... Enough said...