the still-life of waiting.

i miss you, she said, 

tracing well-used patterns 

into the walls of her mind 

the figment she spoke to 

stayed silent, 

having done so for longer 

than even she could count 

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Profound. Very profound! It is awe inspiring how you can convey so much in so few words, and with such simplicity and clarity. The pain in this write, though huge, is portrayed so subtly, that it feels weightless. Awesome.
100/100, and this is going into my favorites too!

[Jonathan Ballam]

This short delve into the simpleness of life reminds me of the legendary Robert Frost, who would talk about a short meander into the woods, and make you reflect on yourself.

Also a many of Ed Hart's poem are in a similar style. Succinct and effective!

[Nianque]

This is interesting. It remind me of sketching in the sand and it leaves an image or carving stone. Although water wipes the sand clean returning it to its normal state, it takes a lot to do that to stone. I guess people can leave grooves in your mind. This poem is perfect. Short and gets it point across immediately. :) Love it !

[Iota]

I also like the tracing well used patterns, it gives the image of rethinking or thinking about someone over and over again so much that you leave groves in your memory pathways. I know what that is for sure! The fact the the figment stayed silent shows the lonely she experienced with out his interaction directly in her life. Missing someone is no fun! Lovely write as always with your talented self.

[blob blob]

awesome line--
"tracing well-used patterns
into the walls of her mind"
...the mysterious 'figment'-
of the 'waiting' and 'missing'-
in all our lives...i love this...:-)

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Oh! Jennie this is lovely..you couldn't have said it more perfectly..
i miss you, she said,
tracing well-used patterns
into the walls of her mind ..sometimes the most tender of syllables are said quietly into the walls of our mind,we expect an answer but usually it doesn't come..but yes if you believe ardently in it with all your heart..the message ever so quietly reaches the person it is meant to be for.