blindsided.

the quick smile he gave

sparked a flavour on her tongue

like sugar;

her tastebuds so conquered,

it wasn't long before he'd placed

his missing socks and

favourite slippers

in a corner of her heart

to stay

Reviews

[J.Black]

"sparked a flavour on her tongue ...like sugar;" ...

Now, now, now.. if this was a real poetry book out on the market I'd be the first to own this. I think you're one of my favourite poetic preachers! I agree with Gandre though, the word sugar would be better if it was home, it does have a nice tie in with socks and slippers!

With such short, simple words you create movies! Well done.

[rash]

awe. that is so cool.

[Nobody.]

lol...missing socks and favorite slippers....yeah. AWESOME little write! these shorts really pack some emotional kick!
cheers!

[alan peter kelly]

such smiles are rare...and placements few

[Robin]

such a poet

[Crowley]

Awwwww...its like getting your own underwear drawer. "sparked a flavour on her tongue" brilliant. These are so addicting, better than pizza and wings.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I like the idea of the sugar. Its gritty and has substance. It then melts away and coats everything. I can compare that to the jolt of seeing someone who gives your heart flutters. This poem was sweet. An unexpected surprise can be an inspiration.

[Devons]

I really like this one - the metaphor is intelligently poised within this poem.. Mixing the mundane and everyday with the straight-forward poetic. A better way to express this would be to say that it begins almost erotically (tongue & tastebuds) and then moves in to the 'husband and wife' comfort of security (socks and slippers)... In fact, through my perverse eyes, it could even be seen to reflect the whole inevitability of a relationship...Beginning with sex and ending with ordinary acceptance...

[Gandré]

I would change the sugar word for home
home - in my opinion - also nicely correlates with socks and slippers and with the word stay

such a desire from the depth is authentic poem, I like authenticity. Wishing for love presents to the desiring subject the object of her desire “to stay" . I hope - you are not bothered that I suggested this? love you Jennie. Please, also make such suggestions in my work! I think, the fact - what we take or what not, is not important, it is just about how this poem rings with the reader.

I loved these subtle hints which I always find in your work. Also, thank you for taking time to read my poems.

[DavidRyanM]

I like this ending a lot. A beautiful image and a new way to express love. The only thing I would change would be the repetition of taste.