i want to write the words of love.

i want to write the words of love

but my fingers falter at the keys

yet when i pick up 

pen

and book

- the ones i always use

to formulate my thinking -

clumsy nothings are what comes out

i want to write the words of love

but so many before me seem more 

right

than anything my little stumblings offer

so i wait

close my eyes

rain on boat roof patters down

forming puddles in my mind

i wait

a sussuration of 

thumpstutterthump heartbeats

echolocate 

for the place the words spawn from

i wait

i wait

i wait

Reviews

[Gandré]

...here you are addressing the worries of poets in the clearest language possible, the lyrical value is what makes this piece experimental and classical, wondering inward, wishing. The trick was to find out what we know, and then give it a way in language, giving away the doubt - I want to write the words of love - . I like these actions of counting the losses and connecting with experience which is not my alone, but can be a metaphor for everyone.. This reaches beyond self-involvement. I loved this. Many great metaphors.

[FlawedByDesign]

The English language has almost been exhausted, but I honestly think that poetry of today is far less formulaic than the poetry of the old. Given the language has changed, vocabulary grown, and trains of thought have changed tracks. You have expressed the struggle we as writers face, but I'd never call our words "little stumblings", "clumsy nothing" or less "right" :) Our words are different and carry their own special meaning that makes them unique. We are bound to use words someone else used (it's called being inspired imo), but they go through the poetic assembly line and are infused by us to carry our own flavour.

Nicely done :)

[Devons]

To me, this says everything about writing poems from the heart of love. There is very little one can say that hasn't been said before, and in a million different ways.. "Shall i compare thee to a summer's day.." ... etc etc etc... ad infinitum..
I think this poem is better than that because it says it all without saying it at all...!! Also, it shows us the very real problem with being too inspired by love itself to be able to flower it with pathetic, saccharin-coated words that in the end mean little more than the proverbial cliche of an overly-quoted and hackneyed Shakespearean sonnet.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This was a great poem. When the practical side and the artistic side dont agree, can the truth exist in the middle? This was a great concept. It was very thought provoking. Love should inspire works of art. Can that love be real when it doesnt?
I love this poem.

[Antonio Valentino]

So many people write about love, because you're either in it, or longing for it. The most romantic poet ever, could be a failure in amore, where the person who never wrote a single poem, could have love running through their veins.

The shortest love poem I ever wrote was only three words.

I love you.

Better to live these particular words, then write them.

Thanks for sharing, great write.
Antonio xx

[An owl on the moon]

Such a creative flow and form, your words awaken that sense of love and the awkwardness of words at times to say what we wish... Comparisons with so many words spoken before... ages of love on display.. finding your unique voice and message. This is a wondrous read...

[DavidRyanM]

I feel this way when I write anything. The constant thinking that my thoughts aren't being properly defended by my typing. And how greater minds have tackled the same subject. It's only when I realize that I'm writing about something I truly feel that the walls break down and everything is okay. Well done. I love the structure.

[Angel Veselinov]

very interesting piece i found it really nice thanks for sharing

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

You remind me of my most common obstacle whenever i set to write a poem on love..it seems the generations that have passed by have written on all nuances that love can offer...yet isn't it amazing as you write this down you have come up with a write on love that is as fresh and original as the fresh leaves on the first day of spring..
i love
a sussuration of
thumpstutterthump heartbeats
echolocate
for the place the words spawn from
this phrase was lovely..sussuration is a new word for me..thank you.

[Periac]

you may think your waiting...but as you have waited the poem dressed in wonderful garments

[Sorry Infamous]

I hate to copy anyone outright but Orlando Furioso is spot on. Those two lines are wonderful. Downright powerful. Good write. I think everyone on this site can relate... even if we have found the words do we ever think they are really right, done, or enough?