fragile. (for Phoebe)

this is for Phoebe Prince (click her name) it's told from the perspective of an anonymous peer, who looked on but never spoke out

copper tendrils in the wind...

just a girl i watched from afar

afraid to attach myself to the pariah she was

a wan glance, a downturned face

all i could do was watch her

slipping through these high school halls

i think i was relieved, in a way,

'cos, you know,

if they focused on her

with her sore thumb aura

then i could continue to ghost along

staying unnoticed, under the radar

while it was her bloodscent

that drew them in

now

oh god

well...

now i wish i had tucked my arm

into her pale crook'd elbow

stood alongside her

as she made her way through school

i wish i had known the words to unlock her smile

(i'm sure she had one, once, that could be found)

i wish i had been the shelter she needed

the safe haven, even just to talk to,

on that final day

on that solitary walk home

but it's all too late

she's silent now, forever

and all i can think of is

her copper tendrils, softly,

in the wind

Reviews

[Gandré]

You are such a skillful expositor and this was such a tragedy, and I am glad I came across this poem, you are making us aware of this problematic and as Craig said, they are under us.. and they need our help. I also liked the outstanding wording, I had to look some words up, I always like to learn, and I felt, how you really wrote this from a deepest compassion, you have such an amiable style.. loved your lines "
her copper tendrils, softly,
in the wind"--------- so vivid and beautiful...
I think, all this judgment in people comes from linearity.. from this dualism everywhere - good and bad, successful and failure, etc. But I believe in the universe, there is no such a thing as good or bad. Everything is just right, how it is. There is a place for everything.. Prejudice or ethnic hostility, and the discrimination and other forms of intolerance that they generate, are found in all parts of the world, I think prejudice typically involves a negative attitude towards individual and our modern western society lacks altruism, but how do young people learn this? I think, it's family where they first see this selfless interest for other members and understanding of "being different".. The moral norm that makes discrimination wrong has to be pointed out, words need to be outspoken and discriminated behavior has to be ridiculed, or sometimes just a silent protest, a tender poem like this one is what makes us feel indirectly kind of guilty, and in the same moment, makes us aware... there are many like Prince, they don't scream for help, we need to become perceptive and see into them; I loved it.

[Kyle]

I have been deeply impacted by Phoebes story. Having been bullied myself, I understand somewhat about what she went through. I came across this poem, and I'm glad I did. I'm not the best reviewer, but I can say that you really did well with this poem. Some of these lines really hit home, and it makes you think. The beginning where the person is happy that they are not being targeted, to the end where they think "Man, I wish I'd had helped" This is an excellent piece and I applaud you for it.

[Dom Macchiaroli]

This is tough stuff. A great piece, and such a tragedy. This is a devastating line:
"i wish i had known the words to unlock her smile"

[The Flawed]

Very different kind of work for you,
Very emotional, you got the hair in the back of my neck standing at ends,
Love the lines “i wish i had known the words to unlock her smile
(i'm sure she had one, once, that could be found)”
As always you make me feel what you feel, with your words.
Very well done.

[Alicante lullaby]

a gem..swasha's so right...

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

copper tendrils in the wind...that's a beautiful phrase...and only you can create such....
Sometimes when i wallow so deeply in self pity...i do think to myself..that yes indeed there are many others going through a pain that is much much more greater than mine...

[An owl on the moon]

I have been pondering this horrid tragedy since I first saw it on the news... So deeply sad... takes my breath away to think about her pain and fear... and what a bright future she could have had in different circumstances.. You bring about her story in an intimate, personal way.. looking on.. wondering.. wishing.. There are others like her all around us... Oh God, please help us find them before it's too late...

[R J Askew]

This is a different theme from you. I was baffled to start with but got the msg with 'she is silent now, forever'. Reading again I see now what 'sore thumb aura' means. Worryingly I also understand 'bloodscent' perfectly. Bullying seems to be the strong closing ranks to see off the weak. Weakness, for some reason, calls forth the cruelty of the herd. For the many to survive the weak must die it seems. It is horrible. But it seems to be the way we are. Weakness seems to incide cruelty in those who might otherwise seem perfectly normal. Yet cruelty is also a weakness. The only solution to bullying is to go on the offensive, to shock the bully. Forget being all reasonable and talking about it. The weak have to strike back with greater violence than the bully, or the weak will die. This is the position of Israel. But then the weak becomes the bully. Quite a dilemma. Violence seems endemic. But then we are violent animals. Understanding this, it seems sensible to be the master or mistress of a superior violence. This is the policy of the nuclear powers and anyone with a black belt in a martial art. But what of Iran? Hitting first, as America and Britain did in Iraq, is extreme bullying and loses all moral credibility. One has to be hit first by the bully and then, and only then, can the bully be attacked. Those who advocate turning the other cheek are fools as the bully will just hit it. Will Israel attack Iran?

[Periac]

a bit of redemption

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is a beautiful but sad poem. Its sad that some people have to go through this.