two years gone.

perhaps more a journal entry than a poem..

two years gone

what an improbably surreal thing

it catches me off guard at times

this emptiness

stopping me short with full body gasps

each time it hits

what scares me most

what i am ashamed to admit

(even to my own darkest recesses

where all the niggling insecurities and 

basest desires hide out,

i have trouble just with the whispering of it

into those ermine depths that none but i know of)

the thing that hurts most of all

is..

sometimes i find myself forgetting

the crinkle eyed smiles

the sensation of your arms wrapping me in love

the husky mischief filled giggle

that bond of mother and daughter

sometimes my life before seems just a tale i tell myself

to keep the bogies away at night

that once i was loved

that once i was little and cherished

that once i had someone

who would hold me as worthwhile

even as i doubted it myself

it's selfish, these feelings,

serving to disturb me further

yet all i can do is spill them

out onto this page

and hope to gain some wisdom in the purge

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

This write jennie is so wonderful i am glad i could find it this morning..*hugs you tight..cause i know it must have taken a lot for you to write this and since this is an old poem..i believe jennie this is during one of those days when we are just lost..looking for a sense of direction.
sometimes i find myself forgetting
the crinkle eyed smiles
the sensation of your arms wrapping me in love
the husky mischief filled giggle
that bond of mother and daughter
It is amazing..how funny life can be at times,we struggle to keep every little image of our loved ones yet cause of some weird mechanism of the human mind..our mind betrays us more than often..if you don't see a person for a very long time you find slowly you are unclasping the memories..the visions which for so long you had been holding tightly to with such a firm resolute but then this is so completely natural...we have to let go...memories are just memories,we can at times play with them..amplify them on paper but for human psyche it is only the present which is real.love you jennie and love your words more :)

[Nianque]

A beautiful poem about a mother's love. Makes me want to hug my mommy real tight.

[Jibey]

I could not put it better than Swaha has done... a lovely piece of writing that celebrates a mother's love with such perception and beauty...

[Coyote Poetry]

Something we will always hold on to. Some education leave us hoping and wishing to feel young and strong again with no fear. Poem is powerful. The struggle to make sense and move on is very strong in your words. A very good ending to your excellent poem.
Coyote

[JC]

i really like the pure honesty in your work, the way you relate your feelings and thoughts so effortlessly, you are allowing others privy into your inner dialogue and it becomes something everyone can relate to.

[Jonathan Ballam]

This is write is a terrifyingly honest expression of pathos. It has great depth, and a lovely simmering ending. Still there are a few things I'd like to point out.
The first is the word 'emptiness'. Although that's the way the character may be feeling in the poem, it isn't a tight enough word. Words like hole, gutter, shard phonetically sound and feel more like the product of emptiness.

Secondly take a look at the sentence "i have trouble just in whispering it". The word have is an immediate word which is nice, but whispering is incomplete and leaves the reader unsure. You could alternatively clip the sentence to something like "i have trouble with a whisper. This would make it sound stronger and more definite. I know it's horrible to write with too many rules in your head, however just keep an eye on those 'ing' words'.

Thanks for sharing ;)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This story definitely is sad. I am deeply touched.
Its a very moving piece here.

[miSS LEaf]

Jenn this has such sad aftertaste :( hope you're ok and will be ok, just like your mom wherever she is now,, hugsssss~ Lea

[Wildfleour]

Ah, Jennie, my sister......why is it that those that are left behind always feel that there is something wrong when time makes the memories blur a bit? But not the feelings.....the love....the bond between mother and daughter is eternal. Or so I think.

A beautiful, wise and gentle write.

[JustWantLove]

Touching and fascinating, in your own words.