Things I Ponder

so many deep dark nights

when i lay in bed

ensconced within warm cotton cocoonblankets

at that time when everything is hush

and everything is vulnerable

and the only sound is my own breath

the whirr of the heater

the thud-stutter-thud of my murmuring heart

 

so many deep dark after-midnight nights

(which technically are considered morning,

though without the comforting warmth of sun

and the accustomed pitterpatter

of a world arising and going about its business)

 

on those deep dark wee hour nights

when my brain won't shut off

and fingers clutch reflexively on my sheets

mind skipping from thought to thought

in a restless cycle

swirling round the mulberry bush

(olly-olly-oxen-free-all-go-home)

being so careful not to touch the scratchy brambles

surrounding the thing my mind keeps returning to

 

(hitched breath/gasp/moaning whisper/justsayitdammit)

 

- the loss of you -

 

in those lonely quiet can't-lie-to-myself nights

i know

i'm really not okay at all

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Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem is so sad. I felt confusion and anxiety in the first two stanzas. The feelings are chaotic and frantic, but controlled. This poem is a paradox in those ways. I couldn't help but feel that this person is bound by chains or restrained in some sort of way. All of the tiny details that make home, home; comforting and inviting have turned against them. I see desperation as they dig deeper and deeper until they go all the way back to child hood...searching for an antidote for their sadness. It's hard to see them hit rock bottom. You ended this poem with more story to tell, but I like the way it ends. I feel that it is slightly lacking resolution and it forces me to read multiple times, searching for clues to help me figure out the future for the person in bed. It ended on a perfect note IMO. This is real gem. It had me emotionally invested rather quickly. That's part of the package that made me go back and read again.

[rash]

this poem is beautiful, love. may the midnights of dreams fulfilled find you equally gifted.

[JustWantLove]

An enigma of possessive and rich worlds! Feel the transcending whimsical aura embrace yours in gratitude! Outstanding composition! Bravo!

[Periac]

i was brought with you here....anticipating on how the end would present itself....and you have done a wonderful thing here....in such a matter a fact style......wonderful!!!

[Wildfleour]

I have had similar nights and similar feelings. I think that as creative people we are blessed and cursed at the same time.

[Arthur Crow]

You have a gift for expression thanks to the excellent form and descriptions you consistently paint in your lines. A very creative spirit you have serves you well in your writing. Much enjoyed the mood and voice here, the dark and gloom is always good subject matter.

[Isolophobe]

This poem makes me hurt. I know just how you feel and you spoke for that feeling very well here.

[R J Askew]

Ach, it's the last three lines isn't it. A crystalisation of loneliness and yearning. The build up is brilliant. We know we are in for something as the details mount up. We are there with you. You make us sense the details and this makes it real. And once you have made it all real you unload the last three lines. And so we know that the feeling there is all too real also.

[bluessadmood]

Oh how you made me feel and think of such so dark nights where everything is so quiet
feeling so vulnerable,its so dark ,its already through the day still no warm lights
and I feel the sound of my breaths and all hisses of strange sounds
but the brain just will not shut off ,it takes a time where mind skipping from thought to thought
always coming to the same spot,where I cant run from,..the thought of you,the loss of you
and here I know ,always knew I will never be OK,never at all
You know my friend ,what I like in your writings,is like I even hear your voice telling me the story in like whispers
and I just sit to hear it all..like hearing a lovely story that I am getting used to hear every day ,ha ha
lovely ,lovely write