Touchstone Moments

salty wave whipped foam

churning with the tide's power

gusts buffeting our forms

as we stand on the barrier

 

the wind lashes my hair into your face

and you smile

having caught a whiff of your shampoo

mingled with my own scent

 

i felt so incredibly small that day

fingers laced comfortably in yours

your tall form supporting mine

as i leaned against you;

a quiet bubble created by our contact

 

watching the hurricane come...

Reviews

[Periac]

i found this probably as one of your finest.
.....so pretty(hallmarkish) as you drew a beautiful beginning....sucking the reader into your picture postcard.....suddenly you leave the reader at a crossroad.....a foreshadow?.....a truth?.....or a mere poetic twist......here we are left to decide how we want to view our self made story....you have given insight and dropped subtle truths.....leaving you vunerable only long enough for us to see into what you hold sincere and covered by saddness.....

[Silvario]

love that last line, changing the mood suddenly and leaving us to wonder. very well penned. a truley wonderful piece.

well done :)

[R J Askew]

Like the audible texture of the first line and the all the W sounds that feature in the top half of the poem ... there is something pleasing abut the accumulation of W sounds ... also can smell and taste the salt and see the foam ... so Eagle is spot on you engage all your reader's senses ... the touch of the fingers ... its all there ... the charm of him detecting his shampoo in your hair is a masterstroke of understated eroticism ... the tranquility of the bubble and the threat of the hurricane leave leave us feeling sad that the bliss is not destined to last ... twas ever thus ... romance and realism finely balanced

[Eagle Cruagh]

Watching the hurricane come.

You, Dear writer have a dramatic flair and a touch
of the sensuous in this beautiful poem.

I see you and your friend, like standing from a distance
watching you watch the approaching storm.

Great writing !

My rating ---- 100 %

----- Eagle Cruagh