Your Eyes

mind wild

skittery thoughts unable to focus..

 

your eyes

the screened window i fall through,

having made the mistake

of trusting it could hold

the weight of my gaze

 

i tumble into your keening abyss

becoming stuck in the treacle flypaper

of the words you use

to salve your conscience

 

my own telltale heartbeat

sounds off in loud thuds

betraying my hiding place inside your soul

my body tensing as the dim light

parts to reveal

 

your eyes

 

just before you pounce

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

Oh Jenny this is so wonderful ,how deep ,how sweet..I swear when I read sometimes I have to shut my eyes
as even the light will not let me focus of the depth of what you say
Mind wild and thoughts will not focus..I look into your eyes
I tumble into your abyss,and stuck to your words
My heart beats sound loud and betray my hideout in your soul
This was ever so lovely ,how the feelings and images so deep and sweet
lovely write..

[Silvario]

another amazing piece. wonderfuly penend with a truly creative talent. i loved pace of the peom right up to the end where the sweetness of the word prio are abandoned for action.

nicely done again :)

[R J Askew]

A thrilling read, full of sensuous promise, with some great touches. I esp like 'mind wild ... weight of my gaze' with '...treacle flypaper' stealing the show. The loud thuds also reverberate from the poem.

[Wildfleour]

"becoming stuck in the treacle flypaper

of the words you use

to salve your conscience"

Perfect metaphor.

[deeps]

This is so wonderful and ever so beuatiful
Beautifully written and well expressed feelings