shuttered.

eyes close
the story is done
before the once upon a time
could ever even be spoken

i wasted my breath
on the futile beginnings
of countless conversations
ended before they'd begun
it's all better off
not re-initiated anyways -
you've moved
far past the plot points
i counted on my teethtips
as i waited for your attention

Reviews

[Samith Pich]

Cool poem, you've got a really good voice that's matured

if I had to nitpick I would say the last line could have been stronger

'as i waited for your attention' is a fine line but you alluded to the fact earlier 'i wasted my breath'

I liked your second last line better, it was starker and more original. Also you could have punctured it better with the title i.e

you've moved
far past the plot points
i counted
on my teethtips
shuttered.

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest, direct and true words written dear Jennie. I liked the old fashion feel to the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.

Coyote