Dear Dad

If you think it's too personal, then don't read it

Dear Daddy
Dear Ricky
Dear Dad,

I don't really know you, and didn't even know you were my biological father until a week ago. It's been said that you know that I exist, but do you really?

Did you want me for a daughter? Did you want Isaac and Kimberly as your kids? How many brothers and sisters do I have? Mom says she knows I have 2 for sure, but she thinks I may have another brother in California and another sister who's 10 forevers older than me. Do I have nieces and nephews other than Braden?

 

 As you can see, I have lots of questions that my mom, Kathy, can't answer. That leaves me with this letter that I'm not too sure I'll send and if I do send it, I'm not sure you'll receive it.

Mom says I shouldn't even bother messing with ya'll because you're "bad" people. She doesn't want me to get broken hearted when I find out "how you are." I don't really care if you toss this letter aside, but prison has to be lonely, right? My Uncle Paul went to jail for beating a man with a baseball bat. He looked forward to getting letters in jail, so hopefully you might too. That is if you can get letters in prison. I'm not too sure how that works.

 
According to my adoption papers, your dad -so Mom says- signed that you moved without changing your address. Is my Papa still alive? Or is he with the good Lord? Did he know about me?

I don't know a whole lot about you except your name, what you look like, and why you're in prison. Mom says the only resemblance I have with you is my brown eyes and my temper. She also says I inherit my temper from her and her mommy.

 

She wanted to wait til I was grown to tell me, but she figured I'd hate my step dad less if she told me the truth. I think it made me resent him more. I heard that Isaac and Kimberly hated their step dad too. I guess it runs in the family, eh?

I guess you don't know a whole lot about me either since mom says the last time you saw me I was really young. My eyes are still brown, I have the same brown hair, and my skin's getting brown as I work in the fields. I'm almost 16, and I own a car. I passed my written drivers test in less than 10 minutes. Papa Clayton was really proud of that. Do you remember him, or did you not meet him at all?

I have more questions than this, but I'm not even sure if you'll answer the ones I've already asked. I'm not getting my hopes up for a response, but I'd appreciate closure for my second question. Did you want me as a daughter? Mom won't answer. She says she can't answer that truthfully because she doesn't know, so I'm asking from the source. I just want that one question answered. Throwing this letter away and not replying doesn't answer it either. It's a yes or no question, and I'll be able to sleep better at night if you answer.

 

Regardless of the answer, I've never thought bad of you even when mom was telling me the stories about ya'll. How ya'll met, when ya'll lived together to when you got arrested. Some of those stories made you sound real bad, but I don't like to judge people whom I've never met. I'd like to have closure. I'm asking you to answer that simple question, and if you have it in your heart, to honestly assess yourself. I'm not stupid, I understand they're bad people out there. People who I'm related to on Mom's side of the family. People who my half brother and half sister, Matthew and Heather, are related to, and people who my step dad make me lie to.

I just want the truth. I hate being lied to. I hate being told what to do. Can you offer a little honesty? Or are you going to lie to me like you lied to my mom? I have a lower tolerance for liars than she does. I also hold the longest grudges, that I inherit from my grandma. If mom showed you to her like she showed you to Uncle Paul and Uncle Robie, then you know what I'm talking about. She's not as scary as mom says she was back then, and mom even trusts her to watch us time and again. I hope I can trust you. I want to, but then again, I don't want to get my hopes up. The question now is, will you reply back? Surely you can take time out of your busy schedule to write a letter to your confused daughter.

Since I have your attention, might as well write you a joke to burn your brain with curiosity so you have to write back begging for the answer:
What's the sharpest thing in the world?

Love,
Jennifer

 

Author's Note

Just a letter to my dad. I don't know if I can send it to him. You know, since I'm not a stalker and stuff >.>

Reviews

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Very mature letter, balanced and intelligently thought through as well, not a rant or biased at all, and even has a light touch or two eg the ending, I think it's great :)

[Susanna F]

Good letter. I can relate - I met my dad when I was 16, and we are so alike. Now I live close to him and he is a great grandfather to my son. But..you never know unless you try. The question of whether you were wanted may be better left for after you get to know each other, if you do. Life can be complicated. Let him go if that's what he wants.