Chapter Sixteen

SPOCK

 

                She sits there, next to Chekov, head bent and focused with him. They speak and work together on his latest theoretical physics equation of the day. They combine their minds to figure out the problem together. It is something I have seen him do alone many times and not think twice about. Now I find that I am completely absorbed in observing their mutual interaction together. As their fingers work on the PADD together they brush against each other accidentally, an action that goes unmentioned between them. An action that merely causes quiet laughter and small smiles. An action that causes me to feel.

                I force my gaze away from them, reigning in my emotions. I am Vulcan. I will control myself. I will not allow irrational thoughts to disrupt my logical mind. I cannot allow this. There is no reason for it.

                It is not logical.

                “Spock, you ok?” Jim asks, breaking me from my current thought process. Ripping my awareness away. For the moment, I am grateful for his interruption. His voice allows my mind to settle. To be logical once more.

                “I am in perfect health, captain.” I reply.

                “Right. Well, we’ll be arriving at Vulcan in about two hours. I want Lt. Mor to come down with us since she can speak Vulcan as well as Lt. Uhura can and we need Lt. Uhura to stay and monitor the communications channels.”

                “I speak Vulcan, captain. There is no need for another translator.” I offer. I do not need a distraction. I know it is not logical, but she will be a distraction.

                “Yeah, but you’re going into the meeting with me, and you’re meeting with your dad too, which will leave me without a translator. And since engineering isn’t going to really need her, she’s more useful to me with us. She’s coming. I want you to brief her.” Jim does not relent. Of course he does not, he is the captain. I must accept her presence. I will control myself, as a Vulcan should. “Unless that’s going to be a problem, commander?” He adds, noting my silence.

                “Your purpose is logical. I see no problem.” I reply, noting the only problem is my personal attitude. It is not acceptable. There will be no problem.

                “Right, sure.” He says, skeptically. “Brief her in 15 minutes. You can use my ready room. I want her to understand the importance of the mission and her possible interactions. I also want her to talk to talk to people, feel them out, and use her…unique abilities if necessary. I don’t want any surprises because someone isn’t okay with creating an alliance with the Andorians.”

                “The usage of her unique abilities is an invasion of privacy as well as a severe cultural offense, captain. It would not be wise. Furthermore it would be inappropriate for her to simply ‘converse’ with the general populace.”

                “Okay, well, maybe not that far, but she does have a good intuition, and she speaks Vulcan as well as you, she can use that to her advantage.” He paused, thinking. “Also, she’s coming because Ambassador Selek has personally requested a meeting with her.”

                I raised my brow. “I was not aware of the Ambassador’s interest in an engineering lieutenant.” Inside my control slips slightly.

                “Yeah, right. I don’t know what that’s about exactly either, but who am I to deny?” He looks back down to the PADD in his hand, he does not require an answer. He does not want an answer. “15 minutes, brief her.” He repeats.

                I pick the PADD up from my lap to review the highlighted sections of our mission. I have no need to do this, as I have an eidetic memory, it simply allows me to focus.

                Diplomatic conference New Vulcan:

• Represent Federation interests in regards to the alliance between Andoria and New Vulcan as well as begin transition of Andoria into the Federation

• Establish rapport with Andorian Ambassadors Shallek and Shandra. It is imperative to Federation interests that an alliance is successfully established between Andoria and New Vulcan due to the fallout from the Narada incident and Kahn’s attack.   

• Assist Ambassadors Shallek and Shandra in meeting and establishing relationships with Vulcan and Federation Ambassadors.

Essentially we are to be the mediators of the diplomatic conference as well as official representatives of the Federation and Starfleet. We are also there to manage any and all situations that should threaten to become anything less than agreeable.

“Lt. Mor join me in the captain’s ready room.” I look over to her, and she turns around, her bright green eyes penetrating mine to my soul. Her look is steady, but filled with confusion.

“Of course, commander.” She stands from her chair, whispering something into Chekov’s ears causing him to smile and touch her hand. I force myself to forget her words. I cannot. We’ll continue this later, Pasha. They are burned into my memory. I will control myself. I will control my emotions. They will not control me. Logic is my serenity. Logic is my sounding board, I will force the confusion away. It is not logical for me to begrudge her whispers. They hold no meaning to me.

We walk to the turbo lift in silence and the same to the captain’s ready room. I am in control.

 

AILA

                The silence between us was deafening. I didn’t understand it. He was a walking contradiction. It seemed as if he didn’t even want me on the Enterprise, but hadn’t he been one of the people who’d recommended me? I was tempted to open my mind to his thoughts, but he would feel it. It would be an invasion of privacy, one he would never forgive me for. But I was tempted.

                We reached the captain’s ready room and he instructed me to sit down in the chair across from the desk as he took a seat behind the captain’s desk. I almost thought he would have rather I stand at attention.

                “Lt. Mor you will be accompanying the captain and myself to New Vulcan.” He started.

                “Commander?” I asked. I had not been made aware of this until just now.

                “Do you have an issue with the captain’s orders, Lt.?” He countered. I didn’t, I was just wondering what use I could be during a diplomatic conference.

                “No, sir. I just don’t understand what assistance I could possibly provide as an engineer for a diplomatic conference.”

                “You will not being using your skillset as an engineer, Lt. You will be using your mastery of the Vulcan language.” He stated coldly, as if I should have realized it.

                “Commander, not to sound disrespectful, but isn’t that Lt. Uhura’s job?” Why me?

                “Lt. Uhura is needed to monitor transmissions here. Also, you have mastery in all dialects of Vulcan, a perfect mastery, she does not. Therefore you are more qualified to converse with certain individuals than she is. Regardless of the explanations, the captain has ordered your presence, therefore you will attend with us.”

                I simply nodded in acceptance. There was no use arguing. It wasn’t like I was going to be needed in engineering anyway.

                “To discuss the details of our involvement in the conference, our main objective will be dealt with by the captain and myself during the conference meetings. You will attend when necessary.” He paused, as if considering something. “You will not speak during the conferences unless directly spoken to or given permission by either the captain or myself.”

                I nodded once more. “What exactly is this conference about? It’s been pretty hush hush amongst the crew?”

                “The conference is to establish a formal alliance with Andoria. Currently there is a treaty in effect, however, that treaty has been in place since the time of Admiral Archer’s captaincy, and it is possible the treaty may come under tension due to the vulnerability of the Vulcan people. The Federation also wishes to include Andoria officially into the Federation of Planets. This will be communicated about during the conference.” He paused again, I could tell he was pained by admitting the Vulcans were vulnerable in any sense. His eyes told me this. “You will be helpful as a translator for the captain when I am unavailable. You will be required to remain professional at all times. You are acting as a representative of Starfleet and the Federation of Planets.”

                “Understood, commander.”

                “You will be required to attend the conference in your dress uniform. During off-duty time you will wear traditional Vulcan wear if you are to walk about the colony. Do you require assistance in either preparing your uniform or replicating the proper attire?”

                “My dress uniform is properly prepared already. I may require assistance in choosing the proper Vulcan attire, commander.” I admitted. Although I had studied the Vulcan culture, I didn’t have hands on experience with the female attire, and I certainly didn’t want to screw anything up by not knowing what to wear off duty.

                “I shall assist you in this immediately. I will inform the captain. Continue from here to your quarters and prepare a bag. I will meet you there shortly. You are dismissed.”

                “Yes, commander.” With that I walked out of the ready room. I was a mess of emotions.

                I was confused, by many things. First, why the heck the captain really wanted me on this mission. I knew there was some sort of ulterior motive, I just couldn’t figure it out. I was also confused as to why Spock had been treating me the way he was lately. Especially today. Today there wasn’t an ounce of friendship between us. It was like I didn’t know him at all. I had tried to contact him through the link this morning, it was effectively shut off on his end. I wouldn’t be able to open it again without deliberately pushing into his mind. I wasn’t about to force that.

                I was also hurt. Really upset. Where was my friend? Where was my mentor? Where was his kindness? Where was the Spock I knew? Surely, this wasn’t him. Surely he had been replaced with someone completely cold and unfeeling? I didn’t understand what I had done to cause this break in our friendship and I certainly didn’t know what to do to fix it.

                What happened to the openness and trust that used to exist between us?

 

SPOCK

                Helping Aila choose and replicate the proper and best suited female Vulcan attire was…stressful. I could not help but admire her in the clothing of my people. Yet, found it even more difficult to control myself during the process.

                As we finished the ensemble I noted only one detail that threw off the picture. Her hair. It was long, dark, and cascading over her shoulders and down her back like a waterfall at midnight. It was the very opposite of the traditional female Vulcan hairstyle. It made the ensemble even more aesthetically pleasing.

                “How does it look? Is it right?” She asked standing before me in innocence, truly worrying.

                “It is… satisfactory.” I replied, though strained.

                “Really? I don’t know what to do with my hair though. I’m not cutting it off. I’m sorry, I know Vulcan women cut their hair short, but I refuse to conform that far.” She looked at me finally, her gaze fierce and showing she was truly quite adamant.

                “It is unnecessary for you to shorten your hair, you are not Vulcan. I would suggest merely pulling it back into a low braid or tying it into a single tress, so as not to interfere with the hood, if it were to become necessary to use.” I did not truly wish to have her hide her hair. It was only the second time I had seen it unbound, and it truly transformed her appearance.

                “Alright.” She moved to braid her hair quickly. I watched her fingers deftly weave through her dark strands and was fixated on her hands. They were small, delicate, her fingers long and soft, even though she had callouses from her work. An image worked its way into my mind and I shivered before quickly burying it. I should not be thinking of such things about a subordinate, about anyone. About Aila.

                Yet there I stood, fighting for control against something I didn’t understand. Against the desire to reach out and touch her hands. Fighting for control to quell the desire to kiss her hands with my own. To unbraid her hair and run my own fingers through it. What was happening to me that I was struggling so?

                “Commander?” Her voice broke through my mind and I quickly snapped me from my reverie. “Is everything alright?”

                “I am in perfect health, Lt. Mor.” I replied my voice cold and unfeeling, using every ounce of control to manage that even tone.

                “Right. Well, if you think this is adequate I’ll go ahead and pack it and meet you back in the transporter room then.” She said, a layer of confusion woven within her tone.

                “Of course. I shall leave you to change. We will be beaming down in dress uniforms. Pack a regular uniform as well as the attire you are currently wearing. The captain and I will meet you in the transporter room in ten minutes.”

                “Understood, commander.” She replied and I turned to exit the room, inhaling the scent of terran orchids once more before the doors of her quarters hissed open.

                I am Vulcan. I will the control of myself. I am Vulcan. I am in control. Logic is my serenity.