Fears of the Night

The child awakens in the frozen night,

trembling in the absence of her blanket

shivers run though her, feeling exposed to the darkness

she blinks adjusting to the dark air,

her unfinished stories float through the dream catcher

clearing her thoughts of all negative emotions.

 

The girl of the shadows has too many emotions,

She escapes through the night

Leaving it up to her dream catcher

to protect her unappreciated blanket,

whose only acquaintances is the  air

and the mysterious darkness.

 

Give us a tale of adventure, darkness

Where flying high we show no emotions

on the wings of a forgotten cloud floating in air.

Are only cover from the rest of the world is night.

Still , lies the crumpled blanket

whose acquaintance left only the dream catcher.

 

A whole realm of forgotten visions is held by the dream catcher,

we are replaced by darkness

the stars cannot shine through our blanket

of interweaving shadows, it conceals all emotions

masking what she fears the most, night.

Now up here, all there's left is thin air.

 

The pure feeling floods her lungs with air

sturdy on the wall hangs dream catcher,

who swears to never tell night

of the secrets he holds when the light becomes darkness

and the long abandoned emotions

 tears soaked in by the blanket.

She thinks of past regrets and is comforted by the blanket,

the chilled, fragile air

helps her breathe easy and let out all her emotions

only happiness floods the dream catcher.

The light always comes after darkness,

just as day always comes after night.

 

There is a time for darkness, and always enough air.

Where night is for sleep and warmth is for blankets.

Dream catchers are their names and life has impeccable emotions. 

Reviews

[Sebastian Falzarano]

I am honestly mixed about this poem, since I don't really like giving negative reviews, but this is one of the few times where I find myself giving advice to help re haul a whole poem.
To start off, the theme and concept were great, but it was the flow of the lines that threw me off, and quite frankly, found myself to be a little disappointed, as the poem had so much going for it. The lines hadn't caught my interest, instead the title and meaning did, which is not what makes a poem, or any work, whole.
While reading, I found the lines to be "jumpy", meaning that some stanzas mix well while some don't. Also, the abrupt switch from the child to the dream catcher caught me off guard; I actually had to reread to see if I had missed any lines. There was no transition that even lead up to talking about the dream catcher. It is because of this that I can't tell what the poem really is about: the child, the dream catcher, or both? Or is it the meaning of the dream catcher?
As such, there are two ways that you can choose to go upon this poem. If it is the former, then this poem can be transformed into a short story about a girl, the fear of the night, and the dream catcher, or you can choose to tell the tale and keep it in poem form. If you choose to go with the latter option, then I can only recommend to keep the poem about the dream catcher and mention the child as a passing incident to prove it's power.
Or you can unleash your creativity and turn the poem (or short story if you choose to go that route) into a twist regarding the girl, dreams, and what a dream catcher does...
And finally, the line "Where night is for sleep and warmth is for blankets" should be switched to "Where night is for sleep and blankets are for warmth."
Well, that is all. You can choose to take my advice or not, it is all up to you. I would recommend listening to the comments of others and make the decision yourself.

[silverwritinggoddess]

Very strong and poignant writing. I love it. You're bringing me inside the darkness in a very good way! Great job!