Vulnerable Love

Cradle me back to sleep.

The old, the new, the me.

Braid my hair in old mistakes,

Tell me it’s better to wear them.

Cut me open, watch me bleed.

 

The old, the new, the me.

 

Don’t step on my wet roses,

They might stick to your feet.

And the thorns might show you just how deep.

 

The red in my soul is screaming blue

I think that means it’s yearning for you

 

I’m not perfect, I know

At my fall, my flowers change shade

I’m not perfect, I know

At my rise, my flowers fly away

But in the middle is wear my beautiful garden seeds.

 

The old, the new, the me

 

Where the old is below

And the new is above

And I’m standing in the middle, with my big bouquet of love.

 

 

Reviews

[PloughBoy]

Interesting usage of simile and metaphors here, Awakened Rose. Your love, a symbolic seed, and when nurtured, watered, and cared for properly, thrives and grows into a wondrous bouquet, a virtual garden of love, if you will. Our love, and the love we bestow upon others, does require constant care, endless nurturing, and lots of TLC before it will grow into what it can be.

I also enjoyed the repetitive lines, "The old, the new, the me..." I coveys a message of change, an awakening of sorts, or perhaps an epiphany.

That being said, I truly enjoyed reading your lovely poetry.
'
Well done.~

[Awakened Rose]

Thank you so much :)

[PloughBoy]

You're very welcome, Tayler. It was my pleasure.

[Clockwork]

Sometimes I think writers fall into the mindset that they have to write about perfect love to pull of a love poem. What you deliver here is a poem about two lovers growing toward a perfect relationship. The lines "Braid my hair in old mistakes,/Tell me it’s better to wear them" really emphasis that idea early in the poem. I think your refrain about "The old, the new, the me" establishes that idea as well. Those lines help track the process of growth in this poem.

Ending with the image of a bouquet of love was quite a lovely way to show how much this couple evolves. I imagined her holding a large collection of wild flowers.

[SmittyJas]

Love this the perfect romantic woe the cry of love. I love the references to flowers and gardens in love poetry they have their place together like peaches and cream.

[elvenom]

Wow, this was so magical, like a fairy tail that is so perfectly written that makes me glad that I read it.

[Eve Ola]

each line defining perfect love. I found much intensity in this write. Good work

[MsJewel]

The images you have created are lovely and the repetition of lines gives the poem a soft sing-song flow that is delightful. I enjoyed reading this very much.

:) Julie

[Rene Salinas]

Refreshing images. I was put into a very interesting space. As the descriptions are permeated with a variety of feeling one is the earthly which in this case it is shared as from below the other slightly less material it is said to come from above. Now the interestng ananlogy for me is where the intrinsic value is added. Matter from below Spirit from above. But the soul is transforming from red to blue constantly from red to blue. I have to say this is coincidental right but as I wrote a poem with exactly the same logic I cant but be pleasently suprised. May the transformation continue then from red to blue from red to blue were Spirit and matter become from me to you.

I had to stop and this is just on the technical side of things really not my area at all but the musicality gets interrupted in a few places. I see how others might come later commenting on punctuation and grammar. I will assume most is intentional and let the writing be assed by yourself if you decide that is.

You disabled rating as well interesting.

Thankyou.

[Awakened Rose]

The music was off at parts but I didn't change it because I felt it portrayed the words well. And I disable rating on all my work because I don't feel any art should be rated on a scale. Thank tou for your review :)

[Zahra]

This is a very nice poem Rose. Well penned