11

He stepped just out of the doorway and onto the balcony. Later she realized that she couldn't make out his feet from all the fog. He scanned the darkness and as he turned back [toward her] he was swept up. It was so sudden her gaze hardly moved with the swirling mist. Her stomach dropped as she flung herself onto the doors and slammed them closed.  She just managed to latch the lock before she ripped the curtains closed.  Still gripping the curtains, she used her index fingers to part them just enough to peak out.  Staring out of the glass, she felt her heart climb from her stomach up into her throat. The balcony was empty. 

[*flash to diff scene of Chad driving home from work and thinking]

 

She laid silently in his bed, thinking about sleep but not really trying. She stared blankly at the blinds covering the sealed window. It was one of those that never open. The streetlamp on the sent light cascading through a tree and its leaves left their shadows on the blinds. How funny, she thought, that she wouldn't even notice the tree if not for its shadow. She shuddered. The room felt so empty�"except for the wind against her neck. She thought about pulling the blanket over her shoulder but she [didn't move/left it at a thought].

 

The light from the hallway woke her up. It poured in from behind her like waves of orange silk. It glowed unexpectedly against the cold blue of the room. "The streetlamp must be out," she thought. As she lifted her heavily-lidded eyes she felt a jolt of panic seize her breathing. The bed dipped behind her and exhaled a slow creak. She tensed her entire body to keep from rolling toward it. She finally gulped in the cool air and screamed as she threw herself off the bed, the blanket flying to the floor. The bed squealed.

 

"Oh my god! Baby! Baby?! What's wrong?!" Chad screamed from the bed. She slipped on the fallen blanket and [scurried] away from his voice. The air burned her eyes as it hit her tears.

 

"No," she whispered. [He stepped off the bed and stood up.  He looked so alive in the orange light.]  Suddenly images of her grandfather's face flooded her mind. He looked so alive at the funeral�"it was the makeup, she heard someone say�"and the orange silk lining the coffin. He always looked good in orange.

 

Chad was saying something in a low, calm voice. He held up a cup of water to her lips and she drank it in. The room was still dark but paled from the lamp's glow. The orange silk was gone.

Reviews

[Aeneas Barton]

This is really good: "The light from the hallway woke her up. It poured in from behind her like waves of orange silk. It glowed unexpectedly against the cold blue of the room."