July 17th, 2010

Bubba,

     I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You are an amazing little man.......today we had so much fun. We brought you to the pool with MeMe and Poppa and you loved it. I am sorry that we took thousands of pictures of you in your litle turtle that are sure to come out when you are a teenager but I only take them because I love you and I am so proud of you. I want you to know a little bit about your family in case someday you have questions. Most importantly I would like you to know about your grandpa who is not here to watch you grow up.

     When I was young and growing up my dad got sick. It was not something he could help but he was diagnosed with cancer. Someday you will know what cancer is but I hope it's never because somebody we know has it. I was a very lucky little girl growing up. My mom, MeMe, was nothing short of amazing and my dad was someone who will always be close to my heart. Your grandpa was stubborn and your mom may have gotten a little bit of that from him and so I was able to have many years with him even though he was sick. I have a few memories of him that I hold close to my heart. He loved your Uncle John and I more then words could say and I think that is where I learned how much love can truly mean. The beach is always a place that reminds me of my dad because for years he promised to take me to the beach and one time he finally took us on a trip out there and it was one of my favorite moments ever with my dad. The beach is my favorite place to go so I am sure you will have many trips there with us. It calms me down just watching the beauty of the ocean. Another memory of my dad is music. I used to hate when he turned on country music but he used to tell me just to listen and slowly I started to like it and then came to love it. Our song was "I'm in a Hurry" and it's about not taking life to fast. Always take the time to slow down little man. If life becomes overwhelming then you can come to mom and I will help you sort things out.......I promise. Most of all what I want you to know about your grandpa is that he was a loving, caring, and amazing man that would have loved to be here for you. When I was seventeen he passed away and it was heartbreaking but I learned so much from him that I am grateful for those seventeen years. Even though he is not here to meet his first grandson, I want you to know, you will always have a guardian angel named grandpa Rick looking down on you and he loves you just as much from heavan as he would if he were here. It's a very sad part of life when you lose someone close to you but I want you to know that sometimes god just needs those people a little bit earlier then the rest of us and many times god takes those people home because he does not want them to get hurt later on in life. He is prtecting them and then they become angels who protect all of us. If you ever have to go through losing someone I will be here to hug you and talk to you until you feel better........no matter how long it takes.

     My mom, who is your MeMe, raised your uncle and I by herself. I will never know how she did it but she worked her booty off day in and day out so that John and I had the best things in life. She would sacrifice her time and stuff for herself so that your Uncle and I had whatever we wanted. You will learn that she will do anything in the world for you because she loves you. I am not saying I never fought with my mom.......as I am sure you and I will have our disagreements.........but the love was always there and my love for you will always be there. It took me a long time to realize the things that my mom sacrificed for me and even longer to realize how strong a mommys love can be for her child but once I realized it it brought me to tears. The day you were born I realized just how much my mom must have loved me and it is a love that is stronger then anything in this world love bug. I want to be the kind of mom to you and your sister that my mom was to my brother and I. we are lucky enough that she remarried and that is where your papa comes into the picture. Your papa married MeMe and I am so happy because he is also an amazing person. He has your Uncle Scott as his son and then when they married we all became a family. Your papa loves you to bunches. You really like to play with his mustache a lot right now. Right when he picks you up you go in to grab ahold of that thing. Most of all what I want you to know about the two of them is that they love you. Your poppa has helped me many times in life and I want you to know if you ever feel like you can't talk to mom and dad then I want you to go to MeMe and Papa. They are there for you, to help you, to love you, and to help guide you when you need someone other then mom and dad. Always remember that.

     Your Uncle John is my brother. Let me tell you that he is somebody I will never stop looking up to. Your Uncle helped me through so many times in life when I just needed a friend that I don't know what I would have done without him. There are going to be times that you might not like your sister to much but trust me honey.......those times pass. Your uncle will always be there for you no matter what you need baby. He will help you through whatever you need advice or help through and he loves you.

     Which brings me to your daddy.When I met your daddy we were at a bonfire and the next time we were out with friends. Your dad offered to walk me home and we became friends. I was dating some weirdo at the time so we did not date. Your daddy tried to kiss me and I would not let him but we would talk on the phone every night for hours. One day your dad went to Modesto to visit his family and I felt like I had lost my best friend because he was not there. We talked every night though and one time when I got off the phone my room-mate told me that she had never seen me as happy as I was when I was talking to your dad. When he came home from Modesto I was in love but there was just one problem........he had given up. He didn't try to kiss me when he got home and we hung out and when I got home he called to talk and asked me what was wrong and I told him.........you didn't try to kiss me. He told me you told me you didn't want to kiss me and now you are upset that I didn't try. Well, the next time we kissed an I fell in love with your daddy from that moment on. We had our ups and downs but it all brought us to where we are today.

     I will write more as we go along kidd-o because I still have the rest of the family to tell you about but it is late and you will be up bright and early so I better go to sleep. I want you to  know how much each and every one of us love you. I always want you to know that no matter what life hands you........you have people to talk to. I am so proud to be your mommy. I love you.

        Mom