forbidden

you know who you are...

 

i'm not sure you understand my intentions...

i just want to be her

the her you think of

the one you dream of

the beauty you need

and want

you're not a notch in my belt

or another chocolate i want to melt

you are a fantasy

the one i think of

i know it can't be

but trust me, you'll see

i will take you to the edge

and right to the line

but don't worry darlin

i realize you're not mine

so let's just play this game

emothions and fun are not the same

i could fall for you

this much is true

but i will keep my space

you make me a nut case

but this you can't know

you make me flow

like the current of water

man, how i want her

so give me your word

we're falling for each other, have you heard

Reviews

[Flow]

Ah the tempting position of being close to one you love who has another. It is difficult in dealing with that sitution to remain close but to never touch, to repect those lines thou inside you are dripping with desires for her so rich that one melts as your pen displays your affections for her on paper. Some of the best love poems are written from a heart that is broken or yearning to be love by one person. I can feel the passions in your work and the longing in the heart for something that is forbidden. I hope you write more for this is good and I love to feel what the writer feels and you are writing feelings that are felt.

[Dani California]

Well, I added this to my reading list because it was in my read requests (from Angel's Lady). Anywho, when I got here I realized.... I've already read and reviewed this lol But, since I'm already here... I thought I'd just say.... I still think it rocks! :)

Nice job!

Peace.

[Dani California]

I love the flow of this!
It just glided all the way through ...
effortlessly.

Your rhyming was great as well,
and the content ..
the object of your affection,
having affection for another..
yet playing that dangerous game
of hide n seek,
only in this version, someone
gets hurt.

Nicely penned all the way around!
Bravo!

[Christina2]

Rich, heavy, tight. Felt in the bottom and them back up again to reality and then back down again.

[Kat Williams]

I like the reality of it...suits me right now. Nice write

[wizthom]

sorry i didn't like it.didn't grab hold of my attention.

however i read it again and fell in love with it why because i pictured it to be a letter to me.. yes personal great write wizthom

[Lucinda Bogart]

I like the rythm of this....reminds of a kind of dance....

In and out., near and far, longing and wanting.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is interesting, like sharing a deep, dark secret.
It's a intriguing confession. You did misspell this word
though..emothions and fun are not the same...it should be emotions:).
AD

[Yvette Shaw]

I somehow deleted my original review. It was not deliberate. This is an amazing piece, and as I said before I really enjoyed it. Admissions of emotion, and longing especially when it's a no no, are always hard to make. You expressed yourself well. Good job!

Yvette Shaw

[Illegitimate Artist]

"you're not a notch in my belt
or another chocolate I want to melt"
I love it! It's a very visual as well as sensual statement. Great work!