Black on Grey

not my usual stuff ..... a dark time.......................

black on grey

 

 

 

in this world

there is no light

black on grey

shadows

swirl,

patches

grey and dark,

.

blindly

walking,

step after step,

aimless, uncaring,

heedless of voices,

sounds, or colour.

colour!

what’s that?

no colours here!

grey sidewalk underfoot,

dark shapes rushing in shades of

black to grey --- and back.

sounds

muffled --- strangled

neath soul deep cotton wool filters.

Heart ---- thump, thump,

only sign of life

life! –

what life!

footsteps flag,

silence circles

sinking,

falling, uncaring.

intruding thought invades –

hunger stirs –

ignore

can’t be bothered

just

don’t care any more

 

 

 

©Copyright jen-JG 8^th March 2008

Author's Note

honest works - say what you think and feel - thanks

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

love the ending.

this really... speaks clearly... of those times in our lives when color fades, and we're ... lost. everything is so ... BLAH. it's those blah days, sometimes that seem to go on forever.

you wrote that well. something different for you, and i appreciate that

hugs

[James K. Blaylock]

This piece felt so sad and lonely. It's life walking through life without a shred of light. But still hope can be found along the way.

[Alexander W. Quinn]

Dark, sad and a deep sense of lonliness to it. The write itself is great, and as for the feelings behind it, just know that you've always got your little family on here to back you up and hopefully bring you some sense of colour. :)

[Tania Leigh]

I like how the abstract quality of this makes it read as if the speaker's random thoughts are being overheard.

The short line format helps me envision the poem as a spiral staircase of words, and the thoughts, as they get deeper and take on more despair become heavier and spiral down,
down,
down
down
to the point of
"just don't care any more"


Great expression here, Jen.....I hope you emerge from the darkness soon, and unscathed, but in the meantime take what you can from it and keep writing.

[Antony]

Jen, a great loss of hope in all your words, is how I read this. powerful words such as aimless, uncaring, strangled, sinking, intruding and hunger, show a great loss of hope and despair. this jumps off the page in emotional turmoil. Good expression.
Tony

[A.J. Smith]

A painful read, my friend, about the colourless, unfeeling vortex of depression.

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

you leave nothing unbared do you? Greeat stuff. (perusual with you)

Dave

[Nolene Bedi]

this could be a song...it has a nice beat/flow :D

[Phil Sanders]

Again .. an outpouring of the soul I feel .... powerful emotive writing ....