Halitosis - the Dinner Party"

A smelly meal - another lost poem now home where it belongs

 

Halitosis or "The Dinner Party"

 

Some one asked us out to tea

It was quite a poshy home,

Although we didn’t know them well

It was better than eating alone.

Crystal, wine filled glasses,

Gleaming silver marked our places,

We sat down and waited

With smiling, expectant faces.

 

Someone removed his shoes

Revealing jogging socks,

Boy, am I glad I’m not the one

To wash his footy jocks!

Oh! The smell that filled the room

Made noses twitch a treat,

And I’m sure there’s nothing worse

Than the pong, of smelly feet.

 

Then our host turned to me

With a stained and gappy grin

While tobacco and garlic juice

Dribbled down his chin.

He exhaled all his "Haitches"

Right into my face

So I smiled a little tightly

And moved along one place.

 

The entrée was quite tasty

Onion soup and garlic prawns,

We disguised uncultured burps

Behind our smothered yawns.

Pongy feet and garlic breath?

Not as sweet as summer roses;

But then I guess it’s not as bad

As full blown Halitosis!

 

Thinking now of garlic breath

Smelly feet, tobacco stain,

I don’t want to insult our hosts

But we won’t be back again.

And then, I up and did it,

I turned to fly the coup;

Our hostess was serving up

Baked beans and cabbage soup!

 

 Cabbage Soup! Garlic Breath!

Smelly foot rot pong!

I’m sure there could be nothing worse

But then I could be wrong.

That dinner was a disaster

And the memory turns me grey

But after that final dish;

I’ll choose …Halitosis….. any day!

 

©Copyright jen – JG 1992

Author's Note

lost and found again - please re-review - all comments welcome.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Your great sense of humor is surpassed
only by your wonderful ability to write it down.
I enjoyed your poem a lot, it is very funny and
so real I nearly choked on the smell.
I look forward to reading more of your very
talented writing.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[poddar kushal]

it is an experience worth to be written and you have written splendidly

[None]

I'm sorry for your experience but I got such a laugh out of this. You got an awesome poem of some stinky stuff!! I hope it was worth the uncomfort of that meal. You did a fantastic job on a subject difficult to write and rhyme!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Glad you found your lost baby:)
I did not read this before you lost it .. it is sooo good and so funny .. makes one feel light hearted .. i love it .. all of it this is really good and so humorous

Cabbage Soup! Garlic Breath!

Smelly foot rot pong!

I'm sure there could be nothing worse

But then I could be wrong.

That dinner was a disaster

And the memory turns me grey

But after that final dish;

I'll choose �Halitosis�.. any day!


Loved it ..

Chloe
xoxo