Thoughts - Lost and Found

was thinking about how there is nothing new in the universe - everything thought or idea has been recylced and will be again--------------------

 

THOUGHTS - LOST AND FOUND

 

Thoughts streaming into the cosmos

Ideas, tossed for validation

By other souls,

who know not who

Or what we are,

And

Who have no use for us

As we are ---

And yet

The brain of man decrees

That his thoughts

Are

The ultimate wisdom

Of the Universe.

In the darkened skies of future years

When mankind

No longer treads this Earth

Or flies beyond the stars,

In these future years

When man is but a shadow

Of his own thought patterns,

Then the dreams and ideas

Tossed by those before

For validation

Will return, to

Haunt the beings who now walk

The surface of our earth

And,

Each will take these old thoughts

Ideas, and dreams

And each will call them

His own.

 

© 2008 jen

 

Author's Note

Thoughts, ideas, views, comments etc all welcome -- Thanks

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

such a deep and profound piece here....that our ideas are almost sent out like energy...to be picked up and formed once again by those that come after us. an interesting write here...I thought it flowed nicely...and read quite easily...

laura

[G D Howard]

Its kinda choppy. There is very little flow to the words. I like the over all theme of it, so maybe you can do a little editing to improve the rhythm.

[Alexander W. Quinn]

I've always been a fan of what I like to think of as unconventional rythm, of using phrases that don't rythme or go together but still flow off of the tongue quite naturally. If you want to try playing around with this form, one of my favorite tools to make sure the reader is flowing with the wrods the way you want them to is to use off-beat spacing (like putting a tab at the beginning of every line that you don't want the reader to pause at), or forcing a comma in places where they don't really belong to force your reader to pause and possibly even digest what they've read. Hopefully, that can be helpful to you. I think your piece is a good example of this form (whatever it's real poetic name is), and on a personal level I love the topic. The struggle to have an original idea, to be the first person to say something or to think something at times seems to be the hardest thing one can achieve.

[[untitled]]

I think the second verse reads much better than the first one, Jen. It is only after the line "by other souls "in the first verse which I would tweak if it were mine. I think you have expressed your thought eloquently and done a good job of the open styling. Best wishes, Bethlynne.

[Phil Sanders]

I think it reads extremely well and is thought provoking ....

[[untitled]]

I would always give an honest review and hope it is constructive. Usually I write in rhyming verse but do read other styles. This poem worked for me because of the content, the expressive thoughts and the message which it contains. Certainly this a deep poem, I believe our brains are not yet developed enough to understand the universe and its wonders.