This is the way I pray (burn me alive inside)

This is the way I pray (burn me alive inside)

 

All the soft stories don't help
all the hallmark card philosophy
 lines of cheer and merriment
 all presuppose that hope is ever yet present
 but when it's not
 when tomorrow can not promise
 true relief
 then you have to go somewhere else
 this world will have nothing
 but empty shell promises
 and superficial attitudes that cloak fear
 because frankly
 no one wants to hear about your pain

 The words never make it past their ears anyhow
 either feeling sorry for yourself
or whining

so you turn the key
locked inside the maelstrom
you can't relate to the mundane
to the TV generation
that wants it all cleaned up
with the hero
the victor
and the commercials bright cheerful
with little girls running through flowery fields
selling happiness in a pill

Beneath the ashes
of what has burned
there is always a fire
even the desire to end this accident that
should never have happened
even this is a flame
that burns past the soul

It's too easy to blame a God
just as much to offer your success
as though a discarnate entity
controls your destiny
and has made you victim

The future is inconceivable
because the moment is over-run
without understanding
to offer consolation

Why is this happening to me?
becomes the skipping point
on the LP
the one part of life's song that
demonically feels right

The monkey's paw
incessantly
clicking that lever
just give me something to nullify
this thought
which is worse than the body's
screams for comfort
maligned and twisted

This is the way I pray
burn me alive inside

Torch it all
Inside me
cremate all the personalities that I relied on
all the lies of humanity's
pacifiers
and the relentless
addiction to the next potion

There is no take two in this scene
no happy endings
like they've always promised
the only release
is within
the only power you own

We will not be rescued
by the cracker or the wine
one way or the other
the sadistic priests
with stethoscope or sacrament
they will have you penitent
but the only truth
is that you are alone
inside the One
and the path set before you
is well worn
by all who have come before you
in the end there is but one thing
that can never be taken from you

I don't know what's underneath all these ashes
from fires burnt within me
But I know that I will not worship my pain
any longer

This is the way I pray
burn me alive inside

 

Reviews

[TLK]

I can imagine different readers taking different things from this poem, all of them personal. Some of course, will say "I have no idea what this is about," because they feel they get constant approval from everyone. But most will reflect on the times they've felt the 'empty shell promises' being crunched underfoot, the noise blocking out the ears of listeners so that conversation about profound matters is impossible.

[Tymothy L Smith]

That's it, goodness, as with librarian, i'm not sure what to say, but thank you. This is a very intimate poem for me and i heistated posting it, but wanted to get some feedback.
Much appreciation (and that you got the line 'empty shell promises'...that is the heart and soul of the piece, thank you).

[TLK]

No need to thank me, it is just a happy coincidence that your words fell on receptive ears. Just as it is a happy coincidence that strong liquor tumbles from the sky into your glass.

[Muse]

Torch it all
Inside me
cremate all the personalities that I relied on
all the lies of humanity's
pacifiers
and the relentless
addiction to the next potion

I don't care what faith you are...these are wise words to live by...

"I will not worship my pain
any longer"

coming from a strict religious upbringing...this poem speaks to me.

wow!

[Rebecca A Kinman]

" I know that I will not worship my pain/any longer"

This is boldly, powerfully, the highlight of the entire poem for me and sinks very deep into the psyche as a "enough is enough" statement, a triumphant personal feat. love this piece.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Cynical and hopeless. Excellent read and write. It gets better even when stuck in a moment.

[~]

You know, when I was reading this, I couldn't help but think spontaneous combustion. Now, this could be like a phoenix, I don't know, it seems more destruction than rebirth in what I am reading, but I really like the idea of destroying the pain within ourselves one fire at a time. It does strike me as something sacred.
I get the impression of reality vs. propaganda....what we feel as opposed to what the media (and honestly just people in general) attempts to push down our throats about needing to wear a s**t eating grin 24 hours a day and get over ourselves and be hap-hap-happy. Which, of course, will make anyone get pissed eventually, even the smiliest of people. I like the cynicism in the poem because, atleast to me, it is warranted. There isn't a pill for dealing with being human. It is normal to have thoughts and emotions and feelings.
Overall, though admittedly I usually shy away from long poems because I have horrible attention span problems, this captured my interest right away. I can honestly say I have no critique on it. In my opinion, it was a breath of fresh air. I love getting some honest poetry.
Nicely penned, poet.

[Tymothy L Smith]

I am at a loss for words (doesn't happen too often), but i am very much touched by your review. I know that it is the goal of the writer to simply write, but when someone gets you, or more precisely your work, there are no words. Thank you for taking the time to review the poem, your review was also a breath of fresh air.

[~]

You are so welcome. I was my pleasure :)