Aware in Death

That one thing I once had,

now gone.

Showing me a darkness like no other,

one whose power shaped life,

shaped it like a death.

I now live as death,

remembering the one girl who once was,

In this once clean body.

The painful way she changed into me.

Aware, yet unaware.

Aware of what others had said,

Unaware of what this would do to me.

Unaware of how it all looked afterward.

Those wings I thought I'd gain,

now haven't ever felt more missing.

Could anything compare...

to one's own death while in life?

To live as a zombie, when I feel most alive.

With awareness to the death.

In every awakening, I die.

In every beautiful sight, I cry.

In her shining tears, I see.

The reasons she is my mother.

And I see my own life,

reflected within hers.

                   

Author's Note

Reviews

[Michael G. Smith]

I remember the pain in poem. The day I walked into the house to find my mother lying in her own sin. It took many years and poems to walk out of that fog of pain. Some days I never thought there would be an end but I am so happy to have found it. Like they say time heals all wounds and it is so true.

[Nyu]

yep i would never even know what you were talking about without having gone through it. that knowledge simply only comes from experience.