the thing in the box

not exactly a poem... but more poem than story :)

it is not possible to ignore yourself for very long...  and i know this seems like an odd way to begin a post, a blog... a whatever this turns out to be.

and i've found that if you don't pay attention to something that affects you... for whatever reason you decide not to acknowledge it, it will show up in other, often disassociated ways...

yesterday, my sister's very best friend died after being ill for awhile.. just as she and her husband were on to  the airport to fly to see her and say good-bye for the last time..

she sent me an email that i opened while still at work... and while i never met her friend.... i know how this is affecting her... i felt it and wanted to cry.  so, i kind of shoved it into the old shoebox in my head... the place where  keep all of those kind of things... and got on with it...

the day progressed and it kept trying to peep out of that box and be examined and tied to a memory or something that explained the grief i was feeling.... but i gently closed the lid again and picked  my son up from school...

then, later i had a really unreasonable reaction to something so completely apart from the actual thing in the box that i am still shaking my head and wondering, "what the hell, you  psycho"...

i stayed home from work and lounged in pj's braless,  hair that needs a good washing tied up in a ponytail, and schlumped around the house... finally calling my sister to see how she was.... tears later.. reflection and set the thing in the box free...

the point of this is....  i guess i don't really have a point....  but if i was to trace the reason for writing this down... it would be akin to putting a squirmy unidentified specimen under the microscope and not really understanding why it is or what it is.... it just is there and you can either try and figure out why it's there or simply examine it once in a while and poke a stick at it..

the reaction that led to an action
no sense or reason
memory caves in
restructuring any reflection
reconvening attentions
causing strain
emotional rain

 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"the reaction that led to an action
no sense or reason
memory caves in
restructuring any reflection
reconvening attentions
causing strain
emotional rain"
A nice write. I like the ending the most...:)

[jen]

Sami, thank you so much for taking the time to read my 'thing' and commenting :)
I really appreciate it.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...Any time...:)

[DavidRyan]

Causing strain
Emotional rain....I loved that.
This whole thing is beautiful. Not knowing someone but wanting to cry when they're gone : a natural reaction. Death affects all of us, whether you knew the person or not, because we realize how short life really is. Death always seems like something that will never come knocking at our door, or anyone's door that we know, and , when it does, it's a reality shock. I'm sorry that people had to go through this, and I hope death stays far away from you and anyone you love for an extremely long time. Just know to always live in the now.

[Jibey]

You create so well the bewilderment and confusion that comes when certain unconnected events collide... It's like a bomb dropped on a calm neighbourhood... first there is chaos, then over time order is restored... We all have our boxes... :-)