Looking Back

Now, at the end, looking back…

what else have I to do but reflect from darkness,

in a sleepless round

of ever mounting despair.

 

Despair born and thereafter bred

by a knowledge from which I cannot flee

of what is…

and what might have been.

 

The memory of exquisite light 

which fills that sphere from whence I came

serves now but to merely illuminate 

the ever-present path of my mind.

 

A path betwixt there and here,

etched in unmovable stone 

and I have not to do but to retrace its steps…

again and again.

 

Steps made of aimless decree on fancy filled days 

as I wandering went,

hither and thither as the winds of self pursuit 

dist blow.

 

Caring not for this or that,

looking n’er for truth,

seeking not for the proven path but rather…

wandering ever further from the light.

 

No.  No plan had I

to chart this course to darkness but,

just as well no steps took I 

to forge my way back towards the light.

 

And thus, I am my own judge.

In darkness I reside simply because

my life's path has led me to the point where…

darkness is all that remains.