Feel Again

So much time I now spend, watching.

Watching as others pass by, living.

Living their lives.

 

I watch not for the care of wanting to know them,

or even so mush as to learn from what they do and say.

I simply watch… and wonder.

 

Wondering why.  Why do I feel this way?

Wondering how.  How have I come to this point?

Wondering when… When can I ever hope to feel again?

 

As I watch, I remember.

I remember what it was like -

to feel as they feel,

to laugh as they laugh,

to cry as they cry,

to hope as they hope,

to hurt as they hurt,

to love, to hate, to long, to fear, 

to yearn, to rejoice… to live.

 

But such is all that I have �" memories.

Memories that flow before my mind’s eye

even as the people flow before my gaze.

 

And I, I sit quietly in the shadows…

and wonder.