Castaway

My fourth post.

-Castaway-

 

I shared my love,
Only to be filtered by your eyes;
Like your hand takes my wrist-
Dragging me
Into a world of nothingness,
Where I must wander
As a lost breath.

 

Lonely as a firebird,
I must rise from death
And bring my ashes to you.
Because I know no other way
To reach your flame.

 

But if each night I have faded,
Greyed out of your sky dreams,
Then I should not go much further.

 

And we would be like isles,
But it would be on my shores
That you'll read this:

 

"Will you ever love me?
Will you ever love me back?"

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my fourth post.

Reviews

[Randolf Ramos]

It is a scary enough to love and be rejected, but it is life. To be a strong in spirit is a blessing. It is scary still that the one you love sets a standard hard to reach, that it is fear and rejection that creeps in our mind and soul, but this is the essence of life to love and the omnipotent teaches us to love. Ive been on that cycle for long but I truly found love free from blame and I truly appreciate it. It brings me unuttered joy.

Keep it up, Keep on writing!
I got to learn lessons from you!

[Emily B]

lovely

[deeps]

I like this write. enjoyed this write

[.]

breathtakingly simple but very effective. You captured that longing so well. superb write

[mirabella]

I like how you didn't explicitly name the bird as a pheonix, but created it via imagery. :) Very pretty.
And I love the line "as a lost breath", it's lovely. It seems like it's an escaped sigh, wandering and waiting, hoping for the love expressed at the end. :)