Castaway

My fourth post.

-Castaway-

 

I shared my love,
Only to be filtered by your eyes;
Like your hand takes my wrist-
Dragging me
Into a world of nothingness,
Where I must wander
As a lost breath.

 

Lonely as a firebird,
I must rise from death
And bring my ashes to you.
Because I know no other way
To reach your flame.

 

But if each night I have faded,
Greyed out of your sky dreams,
Then I should not go much further.

 

And we would be like isles,
But it would be on my shores
That you'll read this:

 

"Will you ever love me?
Will you ever love me back?"

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my fourth post.

Reviews

[Randolf Ramos]

It is a scary enough to love and be rejected, but it is life. To be a strong in spirit is a blessing. It is scary still that the one you love sets a standard hard to reach, that it is fear and rejection that creeps in our mind and soul, but this is the essence of life to love and the omnipotent teaches us to love. Ive been on that cycle for long but I truly found love free from blame and I truly appreciate it. It brings me unuttered joy.

Keep it up, Keep on writing!
I got to learn lessons from you!

[mirabella]

"Where I must wander
As a lost breath." - great line! Very dramatic.

I really enjoyed the questioning at the end, and the feel that the poetry of the moment still exists somewhere and will forever do so.

Just realised I was reviewing this again! I must really like it. :)

[Leigh]

'We would be like isles' I like that line honestly and nicely written, great poem

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

Ok, I'm gonna get straight to the point: loved it! I adore this poem, it's such a good write. It flows really well and is structured great. I also like the enjambament used in certain places, good technique =)

[Little Whisper]

To give love so openly ... even though it hurts to not be given back ... this brought tears to my eyes.

[Lovelylies;]

The idea of longing for love and acceptance is a very relate-able topic. From the beginning I get this feeling of a negative abuse. It's hard to love those who don't truly love you back. Well done.

[Inci]

wonderful poem :))

[The Fatal Lover]

Oh wow. That poem is amazing and I understand the same pain. You did great on this poem. I truly enjoyed it and it made me think of times that happened to me. ^_^ I will read more of your poems when I can. I've been busy in my own life dealing with heartbreak and reality. Please review my new poem.

[heich]

"Will you ever love me?
Will you ever love me back?"

i hate these lines..lol..but you used it effectively...
anyway, ihate them because they remind me of something,,lol

[Bard Constantine]

An immortal query, yet I enjoyed your creative way of telling the story. This has a rhythm, almost like a song, and was enjoyable to read. Fantastic job.

[My Fair Lady]

Until we have experienced unrequited love, we cannot fully appreciate the beauty of love that is shared. Beautifully penned.