One

My third post.

-One-

 

Let me be unspoken--in your world,

An absence in each phrase

That you may share.

 

Let me be the least that you can think of

With each breath. And with each breath see

That you were free

Like I always wanted.

 

And I always wanted love,

And truth,

To have

But to never hold:

 

For you are never mine,

But I love you.

And in loving me so--

We are one.

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my third post.

Reviews

[Katie Louise Hughes]

This was as sweet as the sugar that goes on my strawberries! :D I found this wonderful to read; your message is very strong- as I agree with the other reviews. I especially enjoyed the first two stanzas as it set the tone for this lovely write! Thanks and keep up the writing!

[Snickers]

I love this peice bunches, its as if you love one person but they don't love you back, they don't even notice your there. It reminds me of some of the things I had felt.

[emily joe]

I really like this piece. It's adorable! :D

[Onyx_Rayne]

This makes me feel like the writer wants to be part of the subjects world... even if he is acknowledged or noticed...or seen. His love is so strong that he only needs to be in that world... no strings.

This is a lovely, emotion filled write. This piece is filled with heart and it was a great read - Loved it :)

[Natalie]

I've been so curious to read your unpublished poems I so glad you sent me a read request for this one. I love d the mood in this poem. The first stanza really got me. This was amazing :D

[Inci]

nice flow...great poem

[Closed Account]

This is beautiful! I love the end(: Great job!

[Randolf Ramos]

Very emotional, there is so much love inside your heart.
That is absolutely wonderful poem.

[Lightfalls]

Beautiful, I love this so much....it's true love at its absolute ESSENCE, to love someone enough to want only ever for them to be free, true love will recognize this and never leave something beautiful and true such as that.

[Leanne Conway]

I loved it! =D It's beautifully written. I love the ending...

[Dinesh Sairam]

"Let me be the least that you can think of
With each breath. And with each breath see
That you were free

Like I always wanted."

This stands as the crown to the whole poem. The first stanza was comparatively less. But that was good too. The last two stanzas are cliches and I really don't support cliches all that much.

But, I could give you an applause for alone the second stanza.. :)

Well done. As I see, you ARE improvising :) Glad to see that. I can't wait to read more poems from you. But, as I always said, do employ some form.. :)

Keep writing.