Lean

My fifth post.

-Lean-

 

Regardless of the pain

And the manner that I could let it show,
Or the number of full buses
That could have passed to cause delay;
A heart still leans away.

 

It has to be taken far
From where it's last seen.
Forever.
Your heart should lean away.

 

I take it madly, here within me.
I take hold of your escaping hand,
And its phantom would mock me,
Kill me with its slow release.

 

Our first promises wander,
And are found now in new lovers,
Like cygnets,
Like old nets

Drowning with their love.

 

In this suffering,

Your silence came storming into me;
I am riddled past
Your shadowy goodbye.

 

And now I move,
A tired flame leaning into the shores,
Crawling like embers
All over the land.

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my fifth post.

Reviews

[mirabella]

I didn't mind this poem but I don't think it made me feel anything on an emotive level. There wasn't enough identity, emotion or truth for me to really love it. :)

[Ruth]

This is stunning work! The imagery is beautifully conveyed...wow! xx

[Joanna Maharis]

I love the following lines, in that there is so much passion within them.
"A tired flame leaning into the shores,
Crawling like embers
All over the land."

I also like the symbolism with these lines and throughout the rest of the piece.

[.]

"And now I move,
A tired flame leaning into the shores,
Crawling like embers
All over the land."
~this is a lovely/expressive verse-
u couldn't have written it any better...beautiful :)

[Marie Harrison]

It's perfect. I loved every word.

[Bard Constantine]

Well done. You illustrate well the deterioration of a relationship, and all the heartache it entails...

[Tina Kline]

It sounds like a terrible and painful struggle at the ending of a relationship. Very tragic and dark. I really like it.

[Jeff]

Deep and thoughtful. The poem flowed effortlessly.

[.]

nice to see you post something new...have a soft spot for your work..you have a depth which is not found in many writers..like you have mulled over this for sometime perfecting it..it has an eloquent, no word wasted..everyone filled with meaning..superb work..

[Randolf Ramos]

to be honest bro I really like your poems and style, and the feelings within it. It is laden with much interest and beauty in life and its shortcomings, all about life and that which encompasses. I very well appreciate your every work, it is a masterpiece.