Endless

My first post.

-Endless-

 

I have longed for love
But I never lack.
Perhaps an ounce of you
Way back when I was yours
Seemed enough
To show such affection
Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured-
A mark of rain’s abundance:

 

The withered leaves
Outlived the weeds around,
That I may brag for another day,
Another month,
Another year,
And though I fear,
Be it a lifetime
That I have loved,
And will always love
Until this heart speaks no more:

 

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried.

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my first post.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Oh, I get it now.. You have your own was of writing your poems in your own forms (Dumb me :P). I liked the lines

"Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured:
A mark of rain’s abundance"

Such flow in your words, like silk and wool. You've said this is your first post. But, is this your first poem? (I'm not bonkers, read it again :D :P) Because if this is really your first poem, I should be damned; I could never write such a nice first poem.

Kudos. Keep writing.

[closed]

I really liked this! Especially the line "For it was dust, waiting for your breath" :) awesomee

[noteverythingisperfect]

Such a good write! very expressive and i love how you formated this..

[The Wave]

Nice.
There's a softness to this poem I really like. Contains great imagery as well.
Your flow or rhythm isn't consistent though. It's not a steady read all the way through.. which can be disrupting.

But Overall,
Good Job

[.]

emotional and fluid, lovely first piece, looking forward to some more.

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Good. So much emotions and so much feeling. A nice piece. I like it.

[Lucy Joan]

Nice poem. I can hear the wistfulness and romance in the tone of the poem. What was really appealing in this poem was its simplicity. For a first post, it's a great write! ^^

[Emily B]

this poem has classic beauty . . . so glad to have whispered the words this morning

[Snickers]

I liked this it was amazing perfect also!

[New]

This sort of reminds me of something a well-known poet would have written. The entire thing is flawless. Really great job-- enjoyable to read!

[Dev]

"For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried."

For your first write, this is very good. I don't remember mine being such way. It's free verse so I can't tell you where it rhymed (or lacked) or how it should flow. It reads well and has a nice meaning which can be open to loads of interpretations and that's where its beauty lies. Good.. !!