Endless

My first post.

-Endless-

 

I have longed for love
But I never lack.
Perhaps an ounce of you
Way back when I was yours
Seemed enough
To show such affection
Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured-
A mark of rain’s abundance:

 

The withered leaves
Outlived the weeds around,
That I may brag for another day,
Another month,
Another year,
And though I fear,
Be it a lifetime
That I have loved,
And will always love
Until this heart speaks no more:

 

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried.

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my first post.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Oh, I get it now.. You have your own was of writing your poems in your own forms (Dumb me :P). I liked the lines

"Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured:
A mark of rain’s abundance"

Such flow in your words, like silk and wool. You've said this is your first post. But, is this your first poem? (I'm not bonkers, read it again :D :P) Because if this is really your first poem, I should be damned; I could never write such a nice first poem.

Kudos. Keep writing.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Interesting thoughts about loss love using unusual metaphoric language and descriptiveness..Hope that there soon will be more of this poetic abundance from your heart available for us to read. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment on my work..I appreciate you doing that..Sunflower/Sara

[Joanna Maharis]

This is such a beautiful, passionate, piece. I especially like the last three lines.
"For it was dust
Waiting for your breath
...to have it carried."

[SimplyDisastrous]

You're a very good poet. This is great. You should post some more poems so I can read them.

[Alicante lullaby]

The rhyme is sublime...beautiful...a passionatewrite...specially how you ended up.

[Phibby Venable]

that is a perfect ending. I enjoy the way the poem moves
with the magical feel of love in different stages & the sense
of continued faith.

[emily joe]

This is very good! You have serious talent (:

[Emily]

Well written. This is quite beautiful. I really love the last eight lines. How wonderful what someone can put into words the way I've felt for a long time. Well written. I look forward to reading some new work!

[Snow412]

Very interesting work here. The rhyming scheme made the poem flow like a river over rocks. I really enjoyed the sentiments portrayed here as well. The last stanza was beautiful with imagery and feeling.

This is a great piece. Though, I believe in the second stanza, you meant to say "Until this heart speaks no more." Very beautiful, I say again. Keep writing.

[Miss Coral]

Some of the phrases don't seem to entirely make sense- not in writing sense, as this is poetry, but rather in a grammatical way. Also, the rhythm could use some work- the flow was inconsistent and distracting. Otherwise, I think this piece was quite good. The tone was very soft and sweet, tentative and almost fragile seeming. Well done.

[The Fatal Lover]

Wow. Really great job. I loved it. =)