Paradise

a poem about the most beautiful place in the world

High above the streets

far beneath the painted clouds,

I find my paradise.

 

Scale the crackling shingles

to an island inside a sunset

where the steep ground turns to gold

and the shadows bathe me in cool violet.

 

Ravens ride the breeze and circle

the trees under my feet.

Kneel to watch new green leaves unfurl -

a deep, warm green -

green like her eyes.

 

Sitting together, watching the stars

shimmering like her smile in the dark.

My paradise, the two of us

hiding above the world

 

where the rooftops kiss heaven.

Reviews

[Bluet_Belle]

I love it.

Its a good piece, but(and i know its hard to do) i think that it would sound a little better if you replaced the second "eyes" with something different, It sounds a bit repetative.

Its wonderful as is, however. I'm just a weirdo about repetition, though it usually can't be helped.

I'm having the same dilema with a piece of mine to...

[Kim May]

romance is alive and well.

[Kim May]

Everyone has their idea of pardise. I loved the way you described yours. Kim

[Poeticpiers]

A nicely presented piece of poetic prose desriptive of your dream world

[[untitled]]

Beautiful and delicate imagery. The flow is so soothing and gentle.

[Bluet_Belle]

Perfection.

That is a wonderful change!

[Kaye]

Sounds like someone's in love!

[Raven Held]

Lovelovelove this one! I'm a sucker for poems with natural imagery. And this one's an antidote :)

Thanks for sharing!


Loves,
Raven