That night

I still remember the sound

of your voice that night.

I don't think I could ever

forget the look upon your

face right before you said

those words.

After that moment things

started to blur and all I 

could hear was this 

buzzing sound

in my ears.

All i could feel was the

shattering in my chest,

a million pieces of glass splinters

making it's way to my heart.

Reviews

[Brenden Taylor]

Decent enough images presented here, but some of the phraseology is archaic to its own detriment - "the sound of your voice" and "the look upon your face" being the main culprits. Lemme challenge you to vivify that "sound" and that "look" with your words. Don't jut give it to us straight; give us how it left its mark on you; keyword: impression.

Overall, lacking, but promising.