Relationships

This is only my views, my opinions. The way I feel about things. It is not intended to judge anyone nor am I trying to push my way of thinking on anyone. It is not my intent to offend anyone.

Luciano De Crescendo once said, " We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other."

 

So why  are we afraid to commit ourselves to loving each other ?

 

Love, compassion, tenderness, sharing, caring and relating are the most vital of human behaviors. We may be in the best of health, have the most beautiful home and a huge bank account. But without these qualities life is empty. Then why knowing this, do we spend so little time developing these behaviors ?

 

Mainly because of the society we are living in, where such words as love and  commitment have been relegated to sentimental and old-fashioned nonsense. Skeptics are ready to ridicule those who speak of broken hearts, of devastating loneliness and the power of love.

 

If you love, you're considered naive. If you're happy, you're considered frivolous and simple. If you're forgiving , you're considered weak. If you're trusting, you're considered a fool. And if you try to be all these things, people say you're a phony.

 

Our society today has bred detached, noncommited people too sophisticated to admit to their confusion, unhappiness and loneliness, and too caught up in ego to risk doing anything about it. relationships do matter. We need love and intimacy  to sustain a good, productive life. A loving touch can heal.

 

Our growing inability to relate to each other is frightening. If this continues soon their will be no marriage, no two parent families, no long lasting relationships. They will become a thing of the past. Extinct.

 

Today meaningless sexual promiscuity is accepted as the norm. To avoid pain, we maintain our distance from each other, become emotionally detached. There is a growing problem of abuse, not only in relationships, but of children and the aged. Individualism, independence, and personal freedom are valued above love and commitment. We are now living in what I call the ( me-ism ) era.

 

By me-ism, I mean everyone is thinking of themselves only. We are putting ourselves above others. If you listen closely to some one talking, we will hear the word (my)quite often when they are refering to something, my children, my house, my car, my money, my, my, my, my,---never ours. Thats because we have begun to think in terms of ourselves only. Selfishness. There's no other word I know for it. And love does  not abide selfishness.

 

There is a story I read sometime ago. it took place in a hospital or an orphanage. I'm not sure now,  which. The babies were all kept in a large room. They failed to thrive and grow and very often died, despite the best efforts of the staff. All except for the baby that was in the crib at the very back of the room, in a corner. The baby in that crib always seem to thrive. As they pondered for the reason for this, they decided to set up a camera and  monitor this crib. As they watched a cleaning woman came into the room every night. She started mopping the floor as she entered the room.

 

She continued through the room, until she had mopped herself into the corner where this crib was. She would take the baby that was in that crib and sit down to rest and wait for the floor  to dry. She would rock, sing and play with baby.

 

After seeing this they began puting different babies in that crib every night. As a result  the babies thrived and there were fewer deaths.

 

We need a loving touch, intimacy in our lives to thrive.

 

Isn't it time we forget our petty egos, give up our fear of being hurt or ridiculed and come together and form loving, long lasting relationships ?

 

We all need each other to fly.

 

 

Author's Note

This is not intended to offend anyone. This is my opinion only.

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

I remember hearing about the babies that you speak of...it was in an orphanage where they simply were way to understaffed to deal with them....people need interactions with other people...that is just plain fact...I understood from the beginning that this piece was your opinion on the state of the world today...so I wasn't looking for facts....now...if this was for a newspaper than I agree that you would need to back up your observations with some factual information...beautifully and lovingly written.

laura

[Seanasaurus]

Well done. Though it's more of a blog than a story, I hate my generation too. I, I, I, me, me, me. However, it's people's natural instinct to value self preservation. This extends to others: our children, family and friends - whatever completes us, we strive to keep intact. A counter argument would be to point out that what you complain about is a direct result of our society being comfortable due to extended times of peace, and everyone wants that. The WWII generation wasn't like us because they lived through Hell to subsequently come to appreciate what they had: each other. But, don't worry. Change always comes...

[Robert Luna]

Well I loved this and you were right that I would. I am a phony I guess because I am a person that strives to help others in any way I can. I see the world and the ugliness it breeds and take it upon myself to change it. I believe that people are good to the most part but often lose sight of the things that really matter in life. Helping one another, being the best person that they can be. I agree that we live in a world that is stuck of focusing on the me mentality. But if we stop ourselves from thinking this way it has to spread. I think if another see or receive a good deed bestowed o themselves or another it cause a chain reaction and will hopefully spread farther than we could imagine. I will continue to be the best Robert I can and I only hope and pray I touch as many people as I can.


Great Job!!!!!!

[The Elder Pine]

And it is a very good opinion indeed. I agree with your opinion and your views of our present state as a society. It is a true and honest shame to see the decline in our abilities in these areas of human nature and I would agree that decline by in large is being fed by our modern day social values and an image that is being spoon fed to us trough mass media. Very well done and expressive, I really liked the opening quote and how you brought it all together in the end, it was brilliant.

[David Lewis Paget]

Hi Norma... I think you have written a very perceptive article about the state of play in the world today. The me-ism you speak of has been going on for a very long time, since the end of the 60's, but especially noticeable from the early 80's. Paul McCartney with the Beatles penned the song 'I, Me, Mine' way back in about 1969, commenting on the same problem.
I don't know if you have ever had any interest in astrology, but there is an answer there. Pluto takes about twenty odd years to pass through a sign, and at the time we were young - (70's) - it was passing through the sign of Libra, which is the natural sign of marriage and partnerships. Pluto destroys the conditions existing in any sign it passes through, and like the Phoenix rebuilds from its own ashes. Thus when Pluto passed through Virgo it attacked the womb and childbirth, remember thalidomide? In Libra it destroyed the institution of marriage, and enabled people to live together without actually tying the knot. When it moved into Scorpio, it generated the promiscuous society - Scorpio is the natural sign ruling sex. It was also noticeable in the harsh lyrics of songs, the cynicism and abuse directed towards our institutions such as the police and law courts. When it moved through Sagittarius, (religion), it destroyed our faith in the church as it revealed all the abuse of children by various priests and so-called 'Holy' men. And now it is in the first degree of Capricorn, which rules big business. Just watch the corporations come tumbling down over the next twenty years. They're going to tear each other apart.
There's a plan out there, but we're not necessarily a party to it unfortunately.
Thank you for your thoughts.

[Tami]

I have been on the other side, cynical about relationships because of the loveless and emotionally abusive marriage I was in. I hid my sorrow well, always smiling and laughing. When my friends and co-workers found out about my divorce, they were surprised. But I didn't give up on relationships and I'm happy I didn't. I reconnected with a boy I knew in high school who is now this wonderful man who treats me and others like gold. I love your article and you have hit on the most important thing in life--connection to another person. Thank you for sharing your insights and putting this in such eloquent words. How could your opinion possibly be offensive?

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

I am glad that I have stumbled across this insightful work of art. Thank you very much for sharing it.

I would like to share with you my experience and probably the experience of many other young girls who thought themseleves to be in love at a young age. Yes there will be many "I"s in this, but it adds up with your writing here.

I was once an innocent girl who only had friends and listened when my friends needed me and always tried to be the nicest person that I could be. Tried to be so selfless that it drove me insane; like I could hold on to nothing and everything was far out of my reach. I was ok with that as long as my friends remained happy and knew that I was there for them. When I fell "in love" with one of them and he did not return the feelings, I stopped listening as closely and started to shirnk into myself. I wanted to make sure that I could handle another day when this person did not accept nor return my love. I shut myself down and didn't let anyone enter my life for many years for the thought of that pain returning was unbearable. I have since listened more closely and have always been there for my friends. I saw that when it was my turn to have someone in my life worthy of letting in, I would know it. I don't know if the person who is in my life right now will stay for long, but I have definatly committed to him. Whether it is mutal or not, is still to come into light, but I feel that no matter where life takes all of us, when we meet someone who will committ to us as we commit to them, we will know it and know that that person is suppose to be in our lives.

[Kjpicturesamoment]

First, I'd like to thank you for sharing this wonderful heartfelt truth-kissed story. It is totally and completely true, in all senses of the word! You are a blessed individual who see's the REAL picture and not this society induced mirage that's becoming the blindfold over so many's eyes....so, again, I thank you for sharing this incredible wealth of knowledge with us...kesha

[Imperfection]

So why are we afraid to commit ourselves to loving each other ?
- is a question I have often asked myself. I haven't yet found the answer but I know that I must.

Thanks for posting this. I needed to read it. Many of us do.

[Jen Lauren]

There is a lot of truth in what you say and I agree with you. Nicely put.

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

Very lovely...very sweet. (as are, most likely, you yourself)
However I would fault this piece in the following respect: Take the paragraph that says:
"If you love, you're considered naive. If you're happy, you're considered frivolous and simple. If you're forgiving , you're considered weak. If you're trusting, you're considered a fool. And if you try to be all these things, people say you're a phony."
These are generalities. I don't think MOST people really think this way. Lovers are envied...happy people are envied. We are thankful to those who forgive, we help those whom we discern as weak. We look for those who are trusting. We don't suffer the phonies. Don't be so jaded. Yet! You are too young and pretty!
GA