Cathartic Disposé

They hang on the walls,

Splattered in kaleidoscopic colors,

Arranged in sharp strokes,

Strung by thick ropes,

A cathartic disposé

Of human suffering. 

They stand between pillars,

Solid, sharp and brooding,

A dead being's form,

Over the ages, the metal worn,

A cathartic disposé

Carved from an era passed.

In glass cases they sit,

Corpses trapped in a passed moment,

Suspended in their foreign days, 

Now semi-eternally displayed,

A cathartic disposé

Of a creature caught in time.

So let's tear ourselves apart, let the paint cake with our blood

Hang from the walls,

Sit beside the stone men,

Be encased in here with the rest of them,

May as well join the freak show, I say,

May as well be part of their cathartic disposé.

Author's Note

This is from the point of view of a suicidal girl in a museum, frolicking among the nightmares with aspirations and intentions to one day join their 'freak show,' ending with her deciding to die. What did you all think?

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

You've certainly captured the perspective of a suicidal in such a macabre way that I revel in the stellar portrayals you express here. Looking upon museums as acceptable graveyards to see specimens, and concluding that a double standard exists in dealing with corpses now and corpses from before.
You should speak this at a mic because, while it seems rather fine on paper, it could be improved drastically with the shine of a twisted smile shown to the audience. Finely penned, Riley, keep it up.

[Riley Bray]

I'll definitely keep that in mind! Thanks for the review Tai. :)

[CountNicholasAlti]

This has powerful creativity and emotion behind it. I enjoyed it very much. I would suggest avoiding simplistic rhymes such as "mold" and "cold" as it interrupts the intellectual appeal that is formulated from the very title itself. That also goes with the "Might as well join the freak show" line, I feel a bit more compassion to begin that line would greatly enhance the entire stanza. The way you use repetition in this piece is magnificent.
On a side note, if you are into anime, I feel you would really REALLY enjoy Deadman Wonderland.

[Riley Bray]

Deadman Wonderland!!! I've already watched that anime haha. (I admit I'm a bit of a mega fan when it comes to it). I'm glad you liked it, Nicholas, and I'm even happier to see the constructive criticism. Admittedly, I agree that I sent this out a little rushed haha. I'll look into changing those lines/words so they fit better into the piece. Thank you very much for the review!

[CountNicholasAlti]

Ah I figured you would have already seen it but I thought to give it a go. And please do, this has amazing potential and it is already quite good. If your other writings are similar I'll have to check them out!

[Riley Bray]

Ah well thanks again! I altered it a little but there's still some tweaking to be done. xP Please do! Help yourself to my work I vary styles quite a bit so there's bound to be a few other pieces such as this. I'm interested in your writing as well! As soon as I'm done with my read requests I know where I'll be. :)

[CountNicholasAlti]

Well I best get started then.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The way you arranged the piece...
the order of things in your wordage...
and placement of the lines...
corresponds well -- with the intended meaning...
the way this goes about defines much ---
for the reader as the audience ---
looking in ---as this unfolds in front view...

[Riley Bray]

I really loev the way your reviews look haha. Thank you very much Glen. ^^

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...I just review in stride...easier to get the thought process out...just my style...