I Predicted

These things just don't get any easier.

Just as you promised

You were asleep on pavement

Asleep forever.

Just as you promised

You slid from a crumbling shelf

And tumbled to earth.

Just as you promised

Your bloody paintbrush spread fast

Flowing down the street.

Just as you promised

You were looking out to us

But you weren't judging.

Just as you promised

With venomous words and eyes

You gave them their wish.

Author's Note

This is made up of Senryu's. (5-7-5).

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

The suicidal teen, prodded to the point of no return by his peers in an attempt to prove them right? Quite morose

[Riley Bray]

Thank you.

[Perkele.7885]

I was wondering after I read this post, as to why the deceased may have been wished dead. I very much liked the timbre of your piece; it read and flowed very easily!

[Riley Bray]

Being a teen myself I wrote this thinking of the character as a teen, a time in our lives when we are, perhaps most impressionable and definitely very vulnerable. As of late, in my school anyway, a group of people are going around telling others to kill themselves, just for the hell of it or just because they don't like the underdogs. The thing about that is, sometimes they do it. That's why. :) I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reviewing. :)

[Wall of Words]

This is a very interesting way to write about death. The description is very nicely done: the similes are perfect to form the picture.
I'm just wondering: why call it "I Predicted"? The character who is speaking doesn't seem to have predicted anything. The person who died seem to have "predicted" and promised the character he/she would die...
It's a nice poem, none-the-less. :)
Sylvia.

[Riley Bray]

Its called "I Predicted" because the person telling the story thought this character was, as Skillet wrote, "Slipping through the cracks." I thought of the promises as given in the suicide note, which would be found after the event. That's how I got it. :) I'm glad you liked it and I swear I'm coming around to reviewing your chapters soon too. ;) (Just gotta finish summer school first).