Tempest

The violent storm is brewing.

There comes a time 

When you realize 

That nothing has changed. 

And I 

Was caught thinking 

Of pain in the rain. 

And I don't know about 

The others 

But I was reaching for my 

Inner fire. 

And don't you all ever try it 

Cause I'd rather not see you fall. 

There comes a time 

When you realize 

That nothing has changed. 

And I 

Was caught thinking 

Of pain in the rain. 

I watched myself clamber 

For the light 

But it was a fantasy 

Dream for me. 

People please never copy me 

Cause life has irrationalities.

There comes a time 

When you realize 

That nothing has changed. 

And I 

Was caught thinking 

Of pain in the rain. 

So listen here 

I'll make it clear 

Don't you lock up in fear 

Nothing to feel. 

Oh little ones 

Who seek the light 

Your time is done 

You've lost your rights 

There's nothing for you here. 

There comes a time 

When you realize 

That nothing has changed. 

And I 

Was caught thinking 

Of pain in the rain. 

If you keep trying now 

Your warnings over 

Because others jealousy 

Is stronger than anything. 

Just stay alone in your pit 

Since there's no reason not to quit.

Reviews

[Wall of Words]

Hmm.. I like the added pictures. They add an extra emphasis of character to the poem. :)
The poem itself was good, too. I all honesty, I don't think it's one of your best, but it still is nicely written.
The repeated stanza gives a nice rhythm. The words of the poem talk of something painful that the character is realizing exists and doesn't want the receiver (or reader) to go through/experience. However, I think that the poem could you a bit more emphasis on the pain. You're pleaded that the receiver doesn't make your mistake. It's not the time to be nice, it's the time to be serious and determined. It's the time to tell of the pain inflicted. Tell the powerful wretchedness you don't want the receiver to experience.

I hope this doesn't sound too critical.
It's a good poem in general, it just needs a bit more power because of the topic you're discussing.
Sylvia.

[Riley Bray]

Not at all! In fact, I like it when other writers poke at work. I'll definitely keep your thoughts in mind when I write another one similar to this. ^^ Thanks very much!