She Was Dead Before Suicide

...For years and years and years...

"Gone before sunrise

After warm sunset was she."

They want to make it a simple goodbye

But she took many walks with me.

A letter written and addressed to her father

Written at mere age three

Stating what should be obvious to the codger

About the monsters in her dreams

"She was much adored

And shall be dearly missed."

They say such things but the real her was ignored

As were the cuts upon her wrists.

Another letter written that daddy ripped

At older age thirteen

And he commanded her to strip, so she did

And as she was belted she sang his rhapsody.

"Let us all pray

For her kind afterlife."

How could they not see her decay

Or notice the bloody knife?

Another letter, aged thirty,

Tacked to the wall of his office 

Crinkled and dirty, 

And the message an abyss.

Entitled simply

Dearest Daddy, do not fret

With letters hanging limply

And a photo of the fake smile he would never forget.

And so he ran, this time knowing his mistakes

Hoping he could help her now maybe,

That she would be okay

But she was already lying slumped, head bowed, heart free.

And now as he stands in the middle of her funeral

His little baby girl who he took for granted

The one in his life he should have kept central

That he himself outlived,

He stares down at the gray stone slab

Held tightly in his white-knuckled hands

As the rain falls and hides the tears he dabs,

And her small, sorrowful body is lowered into the land,

He locks his eyes on the little dash

Laying forgotten by most between the two dates,

The part representing the life she had...

"Her memory," he thinks, "I will keep safe."

And now she has fallen into my life,

Held here in the hands of Death,

I exaggerate this story of mine,

For those whose soon will end,

This girl...she was dead before suicide.

Author's Note

"What it was and what it looked like are two different things for two different people."

Reviews

[zaneybear]

"Her memory," he thinks, "I will keep safe."

my favorite line, i dont know why this line just pops out to me, i love this, god job, well done, only high praise on this, it's a beautiful piece...keep writing

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Acucena G.]

Beautil poem. job well done.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you. :)