Inside My Mind

You'd fall faceless as I am, and die obstructed.

If you were to sink inside my mind,

I think you'd find yourself very lonely.

No doubt you'd be coddled by the white walls

That close in on you coldly.

If you were to sink inside my mind,

I think you'd be appalled at my stoic thoughts,

Floating in the air only temporarily,

Before their time has come and they fizzle out.

If you were to sink inside my mind,

I think you'd realize that when I say 

That I don't know if I'm sad,

I'm telling the truth, and there's no reason for dismay.

If you were to sink inside my mind,

I don't think sanity would be an option,

You'd fall faceless as I am,

And die over and over again, obstructed. 

Reviews

[Jessica Gillitzer]

I saw this on my news feed I am glad I came to check it out. This is very strong. You suffer and i understand that. I find your poem very deep, also very sad. I wonder if your mind is this bad from not sharing it's burdens. I love this, i feel locked in this madness. I am glad I got to see this, thanks.
< 3 Jessie

[Riley Bray]

Thank you for the generous review Jessica. :) I'm not sure why it contains its depths, but do we not all have some version of my mind? I believe it just exists as a paradox to my outward emotions. Again thank you for the review, it is well met. :)

[Jessica Gillitzer]

=)

[Shivam Murari]

This is an example of blunt poetry and so well written! Asking someone to innocently step into one's (especially girl's) mind, itself begins with irony and then through that you express your state of mind so well. This takes your poem away from the common. Nice write :)

[Riley Bray]

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review. :)

[William C Jones III]

This powerful piece of emotion is deep. I like how you wrote this. I'm glad you shared this for everyone to see that ones' problems is deep within themselves.

[Riley Bray]

Thanks! For the review too. :)

[Tai Ryens]

I've always thought of sanity as a box within your head, closing off the rest of the known intelligence and allowing for peace and quietness. This poem reminded me of that, and I can relate to you very much in terms of mental states. I see your suffering, know that you aren't the only one.

[Riley Bray]

Interesting take, truly. :)

[Salar Majak]

all the wonders of the world, some of the most hideous mental crimes that they will sew me for, the brightest colors of all, birds singing here and there, and yet gloom hovering over the thoughts that swim around the place, confusion wrapping my whole existence.
that's what they'll find if they were to search my mind

i really love how this poem takes form, beautiful!!!

[Riley Bray]

Interesting version. :P We all have some level of inner craziness! Thank you for the review. ^^

[Salar Majak]

^.^ we all do don't we? sometimes inner craziness is what keeps us alive!! believe me ;)

[Riley Bray]

Definitely. xP

[Azriel]

wow, i love this piece, not only because it's written greatly and the fact that you captured this feeling perfectly... but i think because many times i too feel like this.

[Riley Bray]

I think everyone feels this way somehow at some point in time. :) Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it.

[SeismicTurtle]

This poem makes perfect sense to me. It sounds like a rational mind. Did you draw the pic?

[Riley Bray]

Does it now? Interesting haha. As for the pic, my drawing skills are nowhere near that. xD Thanks for the review Turtle. xP

[SeismicTurtle]

I would have just lied and said yes if I was you. It is the internet after all.

[Riley Bray]

Haha how chaste. :P

[Isabelle Faye]

Wow! Quite a powerful poem, Riley. It is hard to understand what is going on in anyone else's head, even if the same process is happening in our own. You took that concept to the next level by stating that another person wouldn't be able to survive being in your mind. Marvelously penned!

[Riley Bray]

Very true Isabelle! Thanks for the review!

[quinfinn]

sanity is a locked box, wrapped tightly around our persona but not so tightly as we think. nay trigger will fire it off...and whoosh. i tell you this, the longer i live the less i want to try to be inside anyone else's mind. people are just plain scary! i do love this write, though.

[Riley Bray]

Haha I very much agree with that statement, and thanks for the review Quin. :)