So Not Over You

Even when you know you should be, sometimes you can't help it.

Your texts were my alarm clock each morning,

Buzzing to our tune to alert me

And saying, "Morning, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

I would lay in my bed, grasping my heart

And smiling ridiculously as we poked fun at each other

Preparing for the day to start.

And it was wonderful, for a while

But we began to notice the imperfections in each other

And our irritations made for quite the pile.

And you started making me cry

Early in the morning

And very late at night.

Curled up with the teddy bear you gave me last Valentines

Tightly against my chest

And dying slowly inside.

I began not to get a, "Sweet dreams, my love,"

And instead I got squat

And we had nothing to speak of.

And we separated, shortly thereafter,

It was mutual, really,

But still I was haunted by the lack of my laughter.

I was hollow for the longest while,

A case for someone who gave her heart away

And every centimeter step I took, without you, it was a mile.

And then you came back to me,

Begging, honestly,

And for a short time, we were again happy.

But we should have known that those imperfections

Can't be fixed so easily

Because, for the second time, someone else had your affections.

And again, we separated,

I wanted to be the only one you wanted,

But again I felt heavily sedated and saturated.

The next time you wanted me back though,

The hole you made in me by leaving opened wider,

And I had to say no.

I cant allow myself to be a doormat,

Even for the one I loved so deeply,

Because if you truly loved me, our life wouldn't just be a news broadcast.

I saw the hurt in your eyes, or, it was probably actually surprise,

Because I don't think you expected me 

To be the reason for our relationships ultimate demise.

And I still cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes,

Cuddling with the teddy bear you gave me whose stuffed heart was ripped long ago

And I think of what we could have been had you not been full of lies.

And though I know I said I had no more feelings, that we were totally through,

And that you could, "find business elsewhere,"

The truth is, I'm still so not over you.

Author's Note

This got me on the top writers list. x) Thanks to everyone. xP

Reviews

[Charisma Moonfairy]

This poem has rung so true to exactly what I was looking for and is beautifully written, I could feel the pain, the need, all of it and it was wonderfully written. I have felt like that before and it can be the most horrible pain in the entire world but showing the strength of one's will as well. Wonderful job, truly.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much Charisma, I'm happy you like it. :)

[Zoe Marie Ross]

This would make a great country song and it also tells a beautiful, yet heart breaking story of how so many of us have felt. Well written!

[Riley Bray]

Thank you so much!

[John]

Hello Riley, I've just joined the writer'scafe and you were top of the writers to watch panel so I read some of your stuff. It's very good. I particularly like the conversational tone and the everyday language mixed in with the big 'how I'm feeling' stuff. The alarm clock at the beginning is lovely. The story aspect of getting back together and breaking up again is lovely. All in all a really nice mix of styles and I suppose all from experience.
Also interested to see you write haiku. I love the Japanese sensibility. I will look at some of those later.

[Riley Bray]

Well first of all, welcome to writerscafe! (I'll review you when I'm not on my phone). Next, I have made a story out of haiku's but I'm much more prone to do senryu's. I'm very proud to be the first to get a review from you and it seems you've got quite the vocabulary. I'm glad you like my work, I feel i've improved considerably since I joined this site on the 13th.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

"And I still cry myself to sleep at night, sometimes/Cuddling with the teddy bear you gave whose stuffed heart was ripped long ago"--great lines/great images.

I find this piece enchantingly mournful; hauntingly melodic. I like the feelings and the way that you penned this one, because I can relate to it.

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much!

[Graveyardfuck]

Made me cry.
I relate to this so much.

[Riley Bray]

Good. :3

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

And I think of what we could have been had you not been full of lies.

Love all lines except the above, I think needs to rephrase? what you think? it is up to you :).

I love the thought of this piece, very true and honest, such captivating words truly comes from the heart. Keep writing and thanks for sharing.

[Riley Bray]

Hmm you're right, that does sound a little weird. Any suggestions? Thank you for the view and suggestion!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Lol :) you will do it then I will second demotion hehehe keep kicking Riley :)

[Riley Bray]

Lol alrighty then.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) ok

[quinfinn]

there's an old saying..."women don't know what they want/men don't know what they have" and we are just ignorant and callous enough to refer to this malady as each other's "imperfections"...honestly, i love the poem you presented here, it tells a sad, relate-able story of all the ages...but we still never learn... it is the littlest things which affect us so much and we are thinking too large to notice them. very nice work~!

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much!

[quinfinn]

you're welcome

[Jeremia]

btw, is that a picture of you? if not, why did you choose that pic?

[Riley Bray]

Haha no, its not. I chose the picture because it seemed this girl was remimiscing and seemed like she had delved into happier times. I felt like she was the spitting image of the girl in my mind. :)

[Jeremia]

Nice! This is great, like a story in poem form. Beautifully crafted to bring my mind through your thoughts. I liked it, but again, kinda hurt a little. Either way, wonderfully done.

[Riley Bray]

Again, sorry if it was upsetting. Thank you for the review. :)

[Jeremia]

As I said, it was great. Thanks for sharing.

[Shivam Murari]

Modern romance so heavily filled in this poem with extremely true emotions. Love the confessional line "The truth is, I'm still so not over you."
Thank you for this beautiful read.

[Riley Bray]

Thanks for the review. :) I'm glad you liked it.