This Time, You'd Better Go

I don't live to please him.

Its funny how every time you push me away

You turn around and beg me to stay.

And I stand there staring down at you wondering

Who the hell you think I am to let you step all over me.

You say you're sorry and that things will be better

But I'm no mans fool, so you'd best find shelter.

Batten down the hatches because I'm getting angry

I'm putting an end to this cycle because clearly you don't deserve me.

I'm sorry you're mental and its all a challenge

But its not my problem and I'll have my revenge.

For so long you thought you could play me like a fiddle

But I'll be damned if you don't decipher this riddle.

You're a relationship bipolar who's far to confused for my tastes

So you'd better pack your bags and begin to migrate.

And this time don't you dare come back

With that invisible tail between your shaking legs.

Because I'm not taking you back this time

And all I see you as is disgusting slime.

You're just another person to add to my growing list of mistakes

And don't give me that s**t about feeling your heart ache.

I gave you the chance to let me fill you and vice versa

But you ruined that and so now I'll be the alpha.

Get out of my sight

Mistake of mine.

I have a life to get back to

And this time I am over you.

Reviews

[DL Shackleford]

Raw and harsh. Reads like song lyrics without the bridge. You have an innate ability to relate to the emotional core of a situation and make it resonate with the reader. I have an issue with the use of "bipolar". Maybe confusing this with borderline? The behaviors are clear enough to describe. This is excellent otherwise.

[Riley Bray]

Like a song? Never noticed that before haha. I understand the dislike of the use bipolar, but was it offensive? I feel the syllables work better than the ones for borderline. I know I can describe it but what I meant y relationship bipolar is much like Katy Perry's song Hot and cold. Thanks for the review!

[Timeless Netizen]

Frankly, I like the use of the word bipolar, I totally understand what that means and it describes itself. I don't think its offensive because you weren't using it to offend. I liked the poem. :)

[DL Shackleford]

I don't find art offensive. When I read it I took it to mean just that, hot and cold, because you prefaced it with "relationship". It was as I read through your reviews that I thought perhaps I was mistaken since you did not clarify this to someone who clearly took it to mean the medical disorder.....So..If you mean the psychological disorder - you describe borderline not bipolar. If you mean opposites-perfect. Just don't want to unintentionally falsely maligning a group.

[Riley Bray]

Did I not respond to someone correctly? It was not my intention, i'm sorry haha. I'll make sure to keep an eye on that in the rest of my poems. Thank you!

[DL Shackleford]

Thanks for entertaining my question. I want honesty and give the same in a review. If I want sunshine blown up my *ss, I'll just keep relying on friends and family. I really do mean that you have a talent for capturing emotion within your work.

[Riley Bray]

Haha of course, and I agree with actually giving some criticism and things of the sort. Whats the point of posting works on this site just to have people lie and say its great or just say that? There's always something that can be better and rays of sunshine are not the way to convey that haha. I'll make sure to review some of your stuff when I'm done writing the poem I'm working on right now. :P

[Just Kim]

Really enjoyed this write, deep and so full of emotion

[Riley Bray]

Thank you. :)

[minnie:)]

its a little rough, the way the poem speaks, but very well written :)

[Riley Bray]

Ah yes, I was wondering if someoene would point that out. Is there any spot in here where its particularly bad in your eyes? Thank you very much for the review!