Senryu Of The Damned

Jagged mouth agape

Hell fire pouring out towards me

This is the condemned

Reviews

[Azriel]

great senryu, very appropriate title as well, everything works together so well. loved the images used here as well, also the words used here are quite vivid...

[Riley Bray]

Thank you very much! Usually haiku's and senryu's are hard for me. :P

[Azriel]

would've never thought that, judging from how good this was.

[Riley Bray]

Gosh thanks. c:

[quinfinn]

this is really good, trouble is the word "towards" if you drop the "s" it is one syllable and fits the 5/7/5 format, but with the plural form it has two syllables and doesn't work.... a great senryu though!

[Riley Bray]

Thank you so much for the review! I don't think the s adds a syllable though, because I pronounce it like "tords."

[quinfinn]

that can be done, yes.....most people equate "tord" as one and "towards" ...but i am from crazy ethnic roots. so well done ....

[Riley Bray]

Haha yeah, and thanks for the input anyway. :P