Hell Senryu

To fire or ice the world will fall.

Hell's lawless embrace 

Feel it's cold, icy tendrils 

Shrouded in desires.

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

This is very well written - great imagery in those seventeen syllables!

[Riley Bray]

Thanks!!

[Lina Grey]

I like the contrast. people think of Hell as being hot, fiery, etc. and you've got it cold, icy, shrouding. love the word choice here too. great job :)

[Riley Bray]

Well you know, "To fire or ice the world must fall." Pretty sure Rick Riordan said that. I think of hell as more of a desolate and empty place than an insane asylum. XP

[Lina Grey]

pretty sure a lot of people said that. I have no idea who was first XD I think of hell as a lot of things, depending on the situation... :P otherwise it's just a word to me

[Riley Bray]

Haha yeah that too. xP

[Lina Grey]

:P anyway, nice senryu :)

[Lina Grey]

ooh and I like the picture....

[Riley Bray]

Haha thanks.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Sheer perfection!

[Riley Bray]

Thanks!

[quinfinn]

the meter and syllable count is perfect and the poem itself is brilliant however.... this is a senryu. haikus deal only with nature....hope i have enlightened you.

[Riley Bray]

Ah, I have not heard of that before. Thank you for telling me! (I'm still in school and I suspect senryu's are a topic to be shared in later years). Again, thank you for telling me!

[quinfinn]

glad to be of some help....now, if it were about a butterfly unfolding her wings for the first time....haiku! this is very good as senryus go.

[Lina Grey]

yanno, I've never understood the difference between Haikus and Senryus... i think half the people who write them don't either, because i see some "Senryus" about nature and quite a few "haikus" that are not...

[quinfinn]

well, i was conflicted too, honestly, but i got the straight skinny from jacob e , who teaches english .....he is a blessing on this site.

[Riley Bray]

Haha that's what we writers are for, sticking by each other and helping out! I've heard of a senryu before but I've never known what it was and you explained perfectly! (By the way I'll change it to he'll senryu when I'm able haha).

[quinfinn]

this is an awesome circle of friends here, Riley, you'll see. oh, have we friended yet?

[Riley Bray]

I can already tell! It's like a little e-family. And I guess we haven't haha. So we shall be!

[quinfinn]

good! back later.....the ball is in your court.

[Riley Bray]

Ah hehe mmkay.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Cool love it! :) thanks for sharing.

[Riley Bray]

No problem!