12 Years Part One

I recently left a job of 12 years and I wanted to write down some thoughts and feelings I had about that.

Hi, I know I've been gone a while,

I've been working on growth and to find my smile,

Both I lost along the way,

It got real dark I'm sad to say,

Things at work had gotten bad,

Every day I'd go in I was always sad,

Call it burnout, fatigue, a combination of stuff,

After 12 years, I just had enough,

I broke down in my office and began to cry,

No one seemed to care, so why should I?

I did everything I could to be a good boss,

I rarely said no, but at what cost?

Days off, were a thing of the past,

Always on call, how long could that last?

Work had become my whole identity,

I lost the fun side, I sadly lost me,

Days were filled with negative thoughts,

On 16 hour days, you think a lot,

I'm only one man, I failed to see,

I tried to do it all, what's wrong with me?

It's true the ones to help were never there,

And no one ever wanted to pull their share,

So it all would get dumped on me,

It became the straw that finally broke me,

I sat on my notice for a chunk of time,

I went back and forth for like a lifetime,

Part of me felt like I was giving up,

That maybe I should just suck it up,

While I wasn't perfect, I tried my best,

I just wanted to be different from the rest,

In that regard I think I succeeded,

I had become what everyone needed,

Everyone, except for me,

It took me so long to finally see,

I put everyone's needs ahead of my own,

But why with no appreciation shown?

I thought that's how it was supposed to be,

I was wrong, and it nearly killed me,

I opened my email and began to write,

This was it, I put my notice in tonight,

There was no going back when I finally hit send,

My tenure as GM was about to end.